Dance your Tacky Costumes Off!

Way at the top of the Ultimate Shit-List of Fat Stereotyping is the need to Glam up a fat girl as if the only makeover possibility is in the hands of a 4 year old beauty pageant contestant from Texas.

So imagine the ripe sarcastic rants that ensued when I found out that Dance Your Ass Off hired Lena Kosovich, a Russian Ballroom Dancer, to design costumes for the contestants. One can not come up with a more accurate definition of Glitter-Tacky than to pair up Russian with Ballroom Dancing then slap it on 230 pounds of flab twirling around a stage like the love child of Porky Pig and Tazmanian Devil at a Turkish Discotheque.

This show has taken the size acceptance movement back decades; which is appropriate considering the other costume designer, Warden Neil, is best known for working with the Jackson 5 and Bob Hope's Christmas special.

My eyes bled as they assaulted me with unnecessary half tops, cut up fishnet, chains, colors only found in Japanimation, and every fashion foible from the 80's and 90's.

I'm mean REALLY?!
A faux tuxedo with tight white shorts?
and knee pads?
and suspenders?
and a vest?
and black biker gloves?
and a chip'Ndales detachable white collar with black bow tie?

That one single costume situation took every rule of flattering-fashion and turned it into some bizzaro joke opposite world example. OH! using one color ELONGATES? Let's NOT do that!

And you know it's bad when the the skinny professional dance partners they work with can't even pull off the look.

I know a lot of this has to do with Oxygen and that network's image, but Dance Your Ass Off needs to raise the taste level, get a better choreographer, stop the bad karaoke and just pay for the original music, and get the judges OUT of that retarded disco ball!

my roommate just said I'm funnier in person than in blog...maybe I'll do a vLog rant on this...