I've always been proud of my body.  Despite being fat, I've had a striking jawline, defined cheek bones, tight stomach, and perky tits.  I owe it to my mother, who taught me the most important girl exercises -- Kegel contractions, boob crunches, and chin sucky puckers.

I'm in my 30's and I've totally neglected my beauty regime the last few years.  The result is scary, so join me as I work through the issues we fat girls face as we get older and fight gravity, pollution and most importantly weight. 

Last night, while walking around the Upper West Side with Laura, we ducked into Ricky's.  I found the manager and got down to business.  "I need a new skin regime for the new me.  I need a beauty-magazine-reading old lady, wrinkle, firming, exfoliating, active, ass kicking regime."

Fat girls have specific issues that you skinny girls don't.  Like these ridiculous lines I get at the base of my throat from lying horizontal at night (you know, sleeping) and my boobs rushing up to my face.  See, my stomach is a giant mountain and when I lie down, everything slides down the mountain like a boob-a-lanche.

I got Avalon Organics' COQ10  perfecting facial toner and wrinkle defense serum.  For a moisturizer, I got Alba's Sea Plus renewal cream.  It's a very rich cream that disapears into your skin immediately (which is important to this oily skinned girl).  There's also a light weight day cream if you prefer to use the renewal at night. 

In one day, I've seen a HUGE difference.  Even the lines around my mouth and cheeks (you know, the saint bernard fat cheek smile lines) are somehow softer and filled in.  ONE DAY! 

Oh, and they're all natural and they smell really yummy.

love
nati

Looks like More To Love, a reality show about the ups and downs of dating when you're not uber hot, is right on schedule to be totally ruined by FOX.  We hear the dirty uncle of reality networks is renaming the show The Fatchelor.  I'm so happy I didn't get cast.  I'd rather be unknown. 

love
nati

I have 'mustard' all my respect and laid it at the alter of a blog called This Is Why You're Fat.  Is there anything better than a humorous pointing of the finger?  Mind you, I eat nothing shown on this site, but my Xboyfriend does.  I mean, wow, he could be a major contributor.  I was listening to some famous skinny actor talk about the junk food they eat.  Then I saw this site and my first thought is...a lot of skinny people do this to themselves and joke at their ability to tax their body and still look good.  then I think "fuck you".

love
nati

I've been a fan of Sultana since 2001 when I started working at Tribal Sounds in the East Village.  Those 4 years changed my life.  I've always loved music in other languages, but I never knew what was out there till I started selling it. Traditional is nice, you get to learn about the history and culture of a country, have interesting conversations with ethnomusicologists, but modern is even more exciting, where are the people now?  how are they adapting to the "Western pop culture assimilation?"   

Honestly, I just like the sound of language, it's an instrument, each one has a timber, and each one desires to be played differently.  I like to see who's listening to the nuance of their language.  Who's letting it lead them to a new sound?  If music is an organism that changes and adapts, who is working organically to grow the organism?

Sultana is a bad ass, she's hot, she can really rap, and her beats pay tribute to her roots.  If you go to her website, you can play songs from her album she recorded here in Brooklyn...I break her out at all my parties.   Here's another video, the song isn't my fav, but the production is killer.  This one is a killer song, but the production is very 90's.

love
nati

My mom is really beautiful.
My mom is really funny.
My mom and I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo which makes the distance seem not so bad.
When I was a kid, she had long black hair and a crazy Ban De Soleil tan...she looked just like Cher. 
My mom's house is always beautiful, I call it Spa Mama when I go home.
My mom is a Cancer, single and available if you are a strapping rich single guy.

best memories of mom are driving in the car screaming out Jackie Wilson Songs...so I thought I'd scream one out for the mom.  I love ya, patty.

love
nati

Yesterday was an awesome sunny New York Saturday.  I woke up early, went to a local highschool where the DCL all gathered to make over highschool girls for the prom.  Then I walked home, stopping by the Botanical Gardens and really loving my neighborhood.  Then I taught a voice lesson.  Then I went to work which doesn't feel like work cuz it's the best J-O-B I've ever had.  Then on the way home I stopped at Sam's on Atlantic Ave for a fellow DCLers Birthday party and drank wine for a couple hours then took a cab home and recorded this.

sorry for the clipping and shitty sound quality...i'm updating my studio, promise.

love
nati

Nati is drinkable and affordable.  Keep nati on ice.  Take nati to picnics.  Chug nati at a frat party.  Rednecks love nati.  Offer nati to Juan, the fixit guy you found at the Home Depot. 

love
nati

I admitt it, I'm a Twerd.  I've dowloaded the Twilight series onto my iPhone and bookmarked all the kissing scenes.  I've even found a way to break the incription on the 5th book spoiler and upload it to my iPhone using Stanza.  I call my friends and ask to talk to their daughters...we scoop on the latest Youtube vids featuring Robert Pattinson.  

Ok, now you know.  Judge if you dare.  But know this...Rpatz has a voice like bathtub gin, and I've covered Let Me Sign and Never Think.  Next, I'm tackling Bobby Long's songs. 

love
nati