Way at the top of the Ultimate Shit-List of Fat Stereotyping is the need to Glam up a fat girl as if the only makeover possibility is in the hands of a 4 year old beauty pageant contestant from Texas.
So imagine the ripe sarcastic rants that ensued when I found out that Dance Your Ass Off hired Lena Kosovich, a Russian Ballroom Dancer, to design costumes for the contestants. One can not come up with a more accurate definition of Glitter-Tacky than to pair up Russian with Ballroom Dancing then slap it on 230 pounds of flab twirling around a stage like the love child of Porky Pig and Tazmanian Devil at a Turkish Discotheque.
This show has taken the size acceptance movement back decades; which is appropriate considering the other costume designer, Warden Neil, is best known for working with the Jackson 5 and Bob Hope's Christmas special.
My eyes bled as they assaulted me with unnecessary half tops, cut up fishnet, chains, colors only found in Japanimation, and every fashion foible from the 80's and 90's.
I'm mean REALLY?!
A faux tuxedo with tight white shorts?
and knee pads?
and suspenders?
and a vest?
and black biker gloves?
and a chip'Ndales detachable white collar with black bow tie?
That one single costume situation took every rule of flattering-fashion and turned it into some bizzaro joke opposite world example. OH! using one color ELONGATES? Let's NOT do that!
And you know it's bad when the the skinny professional dance partners they work with can't even pull off the look.
I know a lot of this has to do with Oxygen and that network's image, but Dance Your Ass Off needs to raise the taste level, get a better choreographer, stop the bad karaoke and just pay for the original music, and get the judges OUT of that retarded disco ball!
my roommate just said I'm funnier in person than in blog...maybe I'll do a vLog rant on this...
love
nati
Tony Gale has a really interesting website called Some Interesting People. I was this week's featured person. Who's Famous? Me.
Thanks, to Diane for the nomination. You can go on the site and nominate someone you think is pretty damn interesting, too!
love
nati
I didn't even bother trying on Forever 21's plus line - Faith 21. Yuck. Looks like Kate Harding from Jezebel agreed with me. We usually agree on things. Until now. Kate said of Beth Ditto's new line:
"I'm afraid there's not enough hipster irony in the world to make it work."
First of all, nice top, Kate (she drips with sarcasm). I love you, but unless your name is Donatella, I think I'll pass on fashion advice from a Baby Boomer. (Here's a picture of Kate on the cover of Red Eye being featured as the grand dame of fat bloggers.)
So anyway, my friend Rebequita Facebooked me today. She lives in London so she gets to check out Beth Ditto's "range" at Evans (must be a british thing to call a clothing line a 'range'). Evans is the British version of Layne Bryant (totally bereft of trend) so Beth's "range" is a crazy breath of Venice Beach air among the stale solid t-shirts and gag-me flowy dresses. I wish I could fly to London to paw the line in person.
God Bless you, Beth. Thank you for always shaking shit up. I don't know how you pulled it off, but at first glance I'd buy every single piece of your line. And go broke doing it.
My only issue (and it's a small one) is with this model who is so very NOT plus size it's ridiculous. Beth wears the pieces better than she does. I love how Beth has no fear wearing the tightest dresses. Let's all adopt her brand of fearlessness. Oh, and Kate, the oversized kitty cat T-shirt is hilarious I'm buying it just to lovingly defy you.
love
nati
I was a girlie techno geek way before I dated a Mac Genius. I was born a few miles from IBM and Apple head quarters. I figure it's in the water. I worship at the temple Apple. And I love my iPhone like it were a member of the family. I'm building a whole page of apps dedicated to health. No, not just weightloss. But we'll start there. How can technology help me lose weight?
Here are my needs:
I love Lose It and I'm not the only one. My friend, Jeannie Ferguson of BGU lost 35 pounds using the app. GeekSugar and Mashable are on board as well, although I'm not sure if anyone from either site is in need of weight loss. I like to do searches on twitter and see how many people are discussing the Lose It app.
It's not a diet. It's a tracker. It tells you how many calories you should consume a day (I'm at 1900). As you add what you've eaten from their comprehensive list of foods (you can add to the list) it tells you how many more calories you have left.
Wanna make it real fun? Add exercise! It calculates it all for you. Then it helps you track your adventure over weeks and months! It also has recipe ideas and a great list of exercises and how many calories each activity burns in case you run out of ideas. I've only just started using it. I'll let you know how it goes!
Technology should aid you, not hinder or confuse. There is always a learning curve with new technology, but as long as it saves you time in the end, it's worth it. For me, this is perfect. I own an iPhone, I'm on it every minute of every day, and I don't lose it like I do pieces of paper trying to track what I eat. Good Luck!
love
nati
Part of the Acoustic-nati series. I take on the Gaga. No more chalkboard walls, I'm on my way to LA, this is a cute little sublet I'm living in for the next month!
love
nati
I googled "Keri Hilson" and "thick" and I'm not the only one thinking her dancers at the BET awards were solid ladies. Nothing too ground breaking, but it was a notable difference from the usual LA Pussy Cat Doll sillhoette. You know it's tight when your thickest dancer opens up the song with a full on FLIP!
In closing, you can NEVER tell how big/tall/wide someone is on TV until they stand next to Tom Cruise. I'll have to unleash my Tom Cruise/LA theory on you sometime...how he's solely responsible for the 4'9" actress-club.
love
nati
My favorite classic-size designer is Minji Kim (min-k). Back in the day, she used colorful jersey knits from Korea to make a one-size-fits-most clothing line. (An over-sized dress in her shop could sometimes fit me as a shirt.) I'm a fan of jersey knit as long as it's thick enough not to show all my flaws and can be thrown into my purse for a quick change later in the day. So, imagine my excitement when I saw the new BGU (Big Girls United) web site darning new jersey knit dresses and jumpsuits. So far, so sexy. I can't wait to actually try them on and give you a fit breakdown.
My favorite so far is the jumper. I hope I can pull it off.
love
nati
