I had to do a follow up blog! There's been so much controversy since I posted the Banned Lane Bryant commercial my readership went up 1000%!!!!
I posted the scandalous Lane Bryant commercial on my YouTube channel, just to see what people would say. 350,000 hits later, there's about 10 people who sympathize with ABC and FOX and think the commercial's rife with innapropriate messages and too much cleavage and should be banned. This comment was my favorite:
(I'm plushusnati. My reply is on top in yellow. Read Lawrencelugar7777's comment first.)
the Lane Bryant commercial is about a girl leaving to meet a guy for "lunch" with only panties and bra on under her trench coat while the second commercial in the Victoria's Secret Compilation (shown above) is about a girl in an actual hotel room writhing around in bra and panties waiting for her man. uhhhh...yeah. Victoria's Secret is all about the lingerie...hahaha...there's a shit load of denial going on in this country. I'm just here to make you realize how size-ist you are.
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Misunderstood art always ends up on lovenati.com. I'm the un-feminist feminist. I have a subscription to BUST magazine and my best friend is a Martha Graham Dancer. But I defend violence against females in art and porn (yet I'm vehemently against video hoe's...go figure).
This is the part where I tell you all that Lindsay Lohan has never made such a smart move than to hang out with Tyler Shields and snap a few photos. If you're gonna be a tool, be in the right hands. Tyler Shields is known for clean modern abrasive aggressive fashionably violent portraiture. I'm sure America's soccer moms are covering a few eyes and fundamentalist Christians are holding extra prayer meetings over this one. I'm just bringing it to your attention, do with it what you will.
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Ok, so I wrote this blog Wednesday but fought with crappy internet connections, so by now everyone has already blogged about it and you're getting lukewarm news from lovenati.com. I'll be honest. I don't really care. I actually think it's charming. I might make "lukewarm news" my bi-line. I love day old leftovers. Just put lovenati.com in the microwave and nuke it for a minute it'll feel hot and fresh in no time.
Pretty nice commercial, right? Ashley Graham's a hottie, right? Well, FOX and ABC think she's got too much cleavage. Yeah, that happens when your tits are big.
According to Lane Bryant, ABC "restricted our airtime" and refused to air the spot during Dancing With the Stars, while Fox "demanded excessive re-edits and rebuffed it three times before relenting to air it during the final 10 minutes of American Idol, but only after we threatened to pull the ad buy."
Meanwhile Victoria Secret models douse themselves in milk to a jungle beat. Lane Bryant deleted their comments on the situation from their site, but before they did, AdWeek got the quote.
"Does this smack of a double standard? Yep. It does to us, too,"
Fox news reported the the story:
Fox had asked Lane Bryant to flash less flesh..."We didn't treat them any differently than Victoria's Secret," a Fox spokesman said...If Lane Bryant had heeded Fox's suggestions, the spot would have shown the model's face -- and virtually nothing else.
Does anyone else remember the mysterious disapearance of the Lane Bryant Fashion show? It was webcast till 2003 when it aired on televised with Roseanne Barr as Matron of Ceremonies in a cabaret setting complete with Moulin Rouge-style singers and dancers (Meryl Finger, the owner of the Glamazons did a fan dance in that show). They stopped airing or even producing the show after that. 10 years later, we're still fighting for 30 seconds of paid airtime.
lovenati's point is, that plus women need to be seen on TV, in movies, on the runway, on the Billboard charts, on MTV. Not seeing them is impairing our judgment and perception of the world.
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So what happens to uber cool sites after they are no longer cool? The China Town Slipper Effect, I like to call it.
Well I remember when Fat Chicks in Party Hats was on every hipster's bookmark toolbar. Now they don't even wear party hats. I did you all a favor and rummaged through the site for a few good pics.
Let's all bow our heads and offer a moment of silence.
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nati
I knew this 2 year old boy who used to stare at, then walk away from, then re-approach and stare at, then walk away from (ad infinitum) anything he found repulsive. I think Americans are this way with fat. It's like a makeover show to see what fat people would look like skinny only opposite.
Well, if this is your cup of tea, drink it down. Celebuzz just assembled an army of red carpet fatties just for you.
I personally think only a few are done well, the rest are just "what would Brad Pitt look like if he were a chipmunk with seeds stored in his cheeks."
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Right on! Using the fear of fat to make a buck. God bless the USA! Make sure you feed this disease with your self loathing and purchases of Slim-Fast (like my friend Meryl always says "I had a shake for breakfast a shake for lunch and 3 sensible dinners")
Oh, and DON'T support bad ass designers like my friend, Jessica of Svoboda Jeans (especially do NOT buy her uber hipster JEGGINGS! I like being cooler than you.)
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I'm always super duper critical of fat women in entertainment. Every time I see Camryn Manheim or Marissa Jaret Winokur I think "why can't the patron saints to fatties have better taste in clothes?" My gut reaction during the oscars was to praise the Queen and give "tacky" and "eh" reviews for Sibide and Monique. After a little research and a second look, I have some heart-felt things to say not just about the dresses being worn but the messages being sent.
Did you hear Gabby Sibide comment on her dress? "If fashion were porn, this dress would be the MONEY SHOT!" That bitch has chutzpa! I immediately retracted my statement about her dress being prom (realizing it was in fact NOT made of tafetta) and decided the appliques were not awesome but she was nati approved.
Looking back at the last year of Mo'Nique I realized how FAR less tacky she has been since she hosted the BET awards in '07. Her dress was not red carpet material and looked like something that would be scolded by Tim Gun, but she put thought into it and used unnamed designers that have supported her for years. The color of the dress and the gardenia's in her hair were a thoughtful tribute to Hattie McDaniel, the first black woman to win an Oscar.
This blog is about her dress
and not her hairy legs and open marriage.
So that's all I got to say about that.
thankyouverymuch.
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If you don't get my humor, you're not going to get this (and I'm sorry, but it's not something that can be taught). If that's the case, you shouldn't come here anymore. My sarcastic genius is wasted on you. My impeccable taste is lost in the ocean of your mint green polo shirt (not ironically worn) ignorance.
To the rest of you, if I could be someone else for a day, it would be this bitch (mostly so I could give myself a shout out and sky rocket my YouTube subscribership)
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Grant Elliot is my biggest fan.
I know you think you're my biggest fan, but did you create a Natalie Ferraro fan page on Facebook then invite all my friends to join it? And when is the last time you pulled the audio off of all my YouTube videos then happily sent those mp3's to anyone I asked you to? (I'll tell you what sounds sexy..."Grant Lane is in charge of that, I'll forward you to his department" now THAT is freakin' hotness!)
So...no, you are not the president of my fan club (although you could start a fan club in your region and then technically you'd be the president of a regional nati fan club...talk to Grant about how you can do this.)
While you contemplate the many ways you can help me become mega rotunda famous and express your devotion to my music and general genius, listen to Grant's latest homage to the nati.
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I know as a blogger I'm held to certain tenants of journalism like fact checking and well...facts. Unfortunately I have none for you. I don't know the name of the lovely woman who organized this amazing clothing swap in a Halloween Costume warehouse in downtown LA. (I do know that I got a sic-ass ACDC tshirt from her.) I do no
t know the names of the women who's clothes I took home for free. I do not even know how to thank them. I know nothing other than the fact that I followed Joy Nash to this underground fiesta of threads in her smart car, (I in my SUV) and yes, she did drive like a maniac and I did keep up with her sans tickets or flat tires.
Enjoy my pictures, comment below. If you were there, please contact me with your name and number. We need to cuddle. I love my dresses!
For those of you who are not in the know regarding clothing swaps...get on it. Google clothing swaps, or ask me and I'll help you get hooked up in your hood. Or at least I'll try.
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nati
I can't be mad at Fail Blog for this. The comments are amazing:
"She just landed faster."
"She was burdened by the gravity of the situation."
"She’s very well grounded."
"She jumped back into the past, returned, and landed quicker than all the other girls could make a normal jump."
If she's anything like me, she jumped first and the rest of the sheep followed and the photographer didn't have rapid fire shooting. If she's anything like me, she's a trendsetter. If she's anything like me she wouldn't be wearing that outfit. If she's anything like me, she'd make for damn sure there was another shot with her damn feet in the god damn air.
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If you are shocked by Blood is the New Black's Annie Hollywood Tshirt, good. That's the point. (have you heard her song "You Fuck Like My Dad"?) But if you think it's part of a pro-violence/rape-chic movement then you must also hate porn and Family Guy and I don't know why you're here at lovenati.com.
For the rest of you intelligent forward thinking hipsters, I love the Polyvore collage above relating the image to weight issues and food shame. I also think Complex.com said it best...
Photographer Dan Monick's snap of Annie Hardy, lead singer-songwriter for Giant Drag (which isn't a drag queen band), pretty much encapsulates our thoughts on Hollywood. You go there with dreams and you end up gagging on something.
By the way, I'm writing this blog on my laptop in a garden in sunny LA. Be jealous. And don't worry...Hollywood will NEVER gag lovenati! lovenati will gag Hollywood!
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Picture this whole scene with a cupcake instead of a rifle. Sneaking food to bed...talking to it before i fall asleep...
Being fat's like this.
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Wow...2009 was a fabulous blur. I shed the +plushus name for good and became lovenati! You all, the readers, got more involved, told your friends about me, and now technorati and alexa are blowing lovenati kisses...(keep up the good work, kids!)
I joined the ranks of "ironic acoustic cover musician" on YouTube and have almost 400 subscribers! I became a contributing writer for Plus Model Magazine, photographing and interviewing YouTube's new "it-girl", plus size activist and singer/songwriter, Meghan Tonjes (she has 10,000 adoring subscribers and a CD on iTunes that you all should own). I was Skorch Magazine's VIP correspondent at the Torrid Fashion show, and according to, Becky Meza, head of Marketing, Chris Daniels, the president of Torrid, loved my vLog.
In May, I started the trek from New York to LA! Hard to believe most of 2009 was spent en route with out roots and still no place to call home. I did stay with plus-size super model, Ivory May Kalber, in her West Hollywood apartment where I did some water glass compositions on tumbr. And I got to perform at this year's Love Your Body Day! Don't worry, I'm working on my album, so get ready to buy me on iTunes.
In 2010 there will be new and exciting vLogs here at lovenati...vLogs that will take you out of the house and on some brilliant adventures! lovenati is also launching a new duet series on YouTube...where I will be jamming with my friends...and we all know that I know some pretty amazing people...
Request willy nilly...make your thoughts known! I'm usually open to what you want (as long as it's not retarded), and many of you are big mouths...so comment below and be a part of the new era of lovenati.
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And here begins a new series I like to call "Being Fat's Like This".
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You can read the political debates going on about Burka Barbie. Whether it's oppressive or representative of little Islamic girls...lovenati doesn't care. All lovenati cares about is that there is STILL no fat Barbie. Did you know there was a size 18 doll named Ruby back in the late 90's that never made it to mass production because Mattel put the smack down on it? Did they replace it with fat Barbie? no. 
Mattel hates fatties. My people will be seen! There will be cute little dresses and tiny plastic high heels for my people. There will be a hot pink car that fits the ass of this fat Barbie. And she will bust Ken's nut all night long in a 4 story Barbie Play House.
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I've always lived in suspect neighborhoods, and yes, bad things have happened to me, but only when I've been thinner, lighter, easier to physically violate. I've been invisible (really fat) for about 12 years now and I feel pretty damn safe. Frankly there are easier targets. I'm tall. I'm almost 300lbs. There are few guys that can overpower me. It would be one of those awkward steve martin physical comedy moments where he tries to wrap is arms around me but he gets poked in the eye and I accidentally step on his foot and everything goes wrong and I end up abandoned on a sidewalk yelling after my would-be assailant "What happened??? You don't want my money?? No Rape tonight? Hey! Come back!". My fat offers protection from being dragged away by the boogie man (or any man). So I've never been afraid for my life...
...till now.
An international Human Fat Trafficking Ring has been traced to Peru. I can't stop thinking of the screenplays that are being penned as I write this blog. Hostel meets Matrix meets V where fat people are harvested to keep Hollywood wrinkle free. A government conspiracy to harvest the dumb and obese, solving the overpopulation problem and staying an economic world power. A carnivorous oligarchy using the poor fat HFC-fed human cattle as fodder for futuristic Brazil-style beauty regimes. I'm truly horrified.
If i go missing. You'll find me in the face of an aging trophy wife.
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nati
If you've been in a room with me for more than an hour, you know that the one thing I loath is the coupling of talent and looks. Like a package deal, people assume hotness equals something worth their time and money. Musicians aren't musicians anymore, they're sexual beings and if you're not objectifiable, you're not marketable. Working with masogynists...I mean...producers is hard when you're not a bikini model or a pixie hipster chick. Selling your albums to people who don't secretly want to bone you is difficult.
The good news is, the cool kids think this is disgusting. Melrose Place isn't cool anymore. Calvin Klein heroine chic isn't chic. There is a trend a brewing...The ugly talent. Mark Oliver Everett of The Eel's said it best "and if she cares about the car I drive, then she can get in hers the moment I arrive cuz my kind of love is an ugly love. but it's real and it lasts a long long time."
Susan Boyle is my hero, and so are the people who think the popification of her is disturbing. Let her be slow and let her skirts have multiple hem lengths, let her be. I'm tired of makeovers.
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It's 3am on a Wednesday night. I attended the Open Artists with Open Arms event at Avalon, the West Coast answer to Webster Hall. HOLY CRAPDITTLES! I'm pumped UP! (i will be using caps with abandon in this blog.)
Blake Lewis was the highlight of the night. Go buy Heartbreak on Vinyl, it's gonna be a SICK album. I got a photo of him taking a camera from the guy next to me. He took pics of the audience while he sang and danced and beat boxed. JoJo did an acoustic version of Livin' My Life Like It's Golden and Too Little Too Late. Fanny Pak from America's Best Dance Crew (not to be confused with the awesome music group spelled "Pack") kicked the whole night up a notch. Oh, and Tigarah was off the CHAIN! Signed to Universal Japan now, I've been a big fan of hers for years, so I was stoked just seeing her live let alone meeting her in person. Of course, my favorite performer was Sharlotte Gibson. I used to do Google searches to find the awesome tall back up singer on American Idol, but I never figured out who she was till I got involved with Open Artists. She walked in the studio the day we were recording backing vocals for one of the Open Artist Songs and I had a total star struck moment. She does all the backing vocals for Whitney Houston and Toni Braxton...she's the BOMB. Totally my industry hero. And of course there were so many other notable performances, Guy B, That Rogue Romeo...but I try to keep these blogs short...so you'll have to wait for future write ups on the stars of Open Artists!
The night was really about LBGT youth and the power of mentoring.
But unlike most fund raisers of it's kind there wasn't a moment of self pity or sappy hands across america crap.
ok. it's almost 5am. and i've been patient through some ridiculous server issues tonight. so i go sleep now. If you want to see the rest of the pics and you're not my friend on Facebook go here.
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Hey, kittens.
Tonight marks the 2nd annual Open Artists with Open Arms gala extravaganza. You know me, I love good discrimination activism. But I don't love weepy boo-hooers. I'm always telling my weepy gays to cry me a river. Who's more fabulous? Who's got a better mentoring program? Who's got a tv channel? Who owns the Castro, West Hollywood and Chelsea? If there is one thing I hate, it's an organization of bitching bitches. WELL! This is why I love Open Artists. The first ever organization for the ethical treatment of all that doesn't go all mushy. They get it. To triumph is to be Fierce! To showcase the best of the best and drink champagne is the name of the game.
If you are in the LA area, don't be a fool. You won't be in the same room with more famous and fabulous people till the Grammy's. Kelly Rowland, Lindsay Lohan, Fanny Pack...I won't drop anymore names...
oh wait...
I'll be there.
BAM!
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Another year. Another Love Your Body Day hosted by Chenese Lewis. This will be my first year in attendance. I'm going to hit up the pre party Friday night, sing a few songs on Saturday and then I'm heading over to see Maggie Brown do improv. Oh, and this year the celebrity guest MC is Lisa Ann Walter, a judge on Dance Your Ass Off! I actually met her at the Torrid fashion show a few weeks ago. She was wearing a hot little silver number and we had a moment, so I'm sure we'll be kickin back a few drinks together...she's totally NOT plus, but hey this ain't the Grammy's, you get what you can get. I hope to see you there, I'll be singing on Saturday between 1:30 and 3pm. Don't be late. I hate tardiness.
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If one of my girlfriends told the paparazzi that I devoured all her food in the night, I'd have her eaten, and I'd hire Kara DioGuardi to do it! in her sleep!
I've eaten my roommate's food. I've eaten food off of the plates before I wash them at a dinner party. I've eaten a slice out of a birthday cake before the party started (oh, no. that wasn't me. That was Dom DeLuise in Fatso.)
Point is, Paula Abdul, you're a bitter old skinny midget of a woman. I know little people with more gumption, more loyalty, more finesse and hair that doesn't require a horse's mane to look hot. You are a bad girlfriend. If you're going to gossip, get a blog.
And to all those I've eaten out of house and home, thank you for your silence.
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I invite you to read the comments on Youtube. Some people really missed the boat on this very effective ad.
Oh, and there's a well done parody that's in such poor taste, all I can say is it really drives home the point of the orginal Dove video.
Which, for those who read my blog and still need help across Duh St. is that there is a widely accepted yet ridiculously distorted perception of reality. There is more to life than being thin, rich, and fabulous. Get a hobby. Volunteer. Befriend an ugly cool kid.
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I remember the day Greg and I went steady. He beat me to my house after school just so I'd find flowers on my doorstep. Paul sent me beautiful letters with poems. "in this world of calamity there's Natalie." Craig and I passed notes with quotes for years. That's how he asked me to the 8th grade dance and also to Jr. Prom.
This video rocks.
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I'm supposed to be asleep. I'm supposted to be dreaming about all the sex I'm not getting. Instead I'm emailing with Fluvia who's in Paris right now being fabulous while I'm on my period being bouyant.
Fluvia: I didn't book my ticket to Love Your Body Day cuz I didn't think your offer to stay with you was serious. You're always joking.
nati: you're on crack. we're practically family. you're always welcome. now book a ticket.
Fluvia: I don't have a laptop with me.
nati: I found tickets on Virgin for like $100 each way.
Fluvia: ok...take my cc and book it. did you see my IGIGI video? My email is blowing up!
nati: NO! I knew you were doing something but I didn't know what. Why am I the last to know??? I deserve exclusives on shit like this.
So this is the pornography Fluvia is peddling. Watch if you must. Brazilians and their smut.
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P.S. seriously. I love the premise of this video. it should give you a boner, then you have to come to terms with the fact that you got wood over a fat chick. deal.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
Follow up to the last blog.
At 5' 10" and 120 lbs, Filippa Hamilton was let go from Ralph Lauren for "not fulfilling her contractual obligations" (ie...not being skinny enough). Ralph is riding the short bus. Between the airbrush flub and this, they're contributing to a whole new generation of eating disorders.
Join me in consumer boycotting!
I don't fit their clothes and I can't afford most of their products...so I'll be boycotting their econo line of towels. No more Ralph Lauren towels for nati!!!
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Photoshop Disasters is one of my favorite blogs. Recently they posted this Ralf Lauren ad where Filippa Hamilton looks like a Character from Nightmare Before Christmas. Xeni Jardin at Boing Boing reposted the photo in a blog chiding, "Dude, her head's bigger than her pelvis.
Ralph Lauren responded to this tiny blip on the blogosphere by sending DMCA takedown notices to all the ISPs involved.
Boing Boing's response is so very cherry!!! Jezebel, Huffington Post, and ABC got on board, no one's pushing Boing Boing around!
Obviously everyone is well within their rights to post and criticize this ABSURD photo. (I encourage you to show by example and repost this with abandon)
Besides the fact that big business is once again using their money to bend the law and intimidate regular people, the more disturbing issue here is that someone spent billable hours making an already emaciated woman looked third world. The dogma of skinny is gross and only the completely near-sited sheep are on board.
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I've been missing Jersey, and my friend, with the gay son, who's aways got such a nice Xmas tree...yeah...i miss her too. So, we're gonna do it up real nice, kids. Just like home. I'm making ambrosia and deviled eggs. I might even get the Clayman's recipe for meatloaf, and we'll do it up real nice. real nice. I'm gonna wear my new sweater dress, the one that makes me feel like the 4th Judd! Have Mercy! and yeah...real nice...lemme know if you wanna come.
12.12.09
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Transcript of the vLog...
I was the Skorch Magazine correspondent at the Torrid House Of Dreams fashion show last night! Let me say right off the bat...if you want lovenati to love YOU give her free Valet Parking! Classy move, Chris Daniels.
FIDM is a beautiful school, I met Jen Wilder, an alum who offered to make me clothes. This is another way you can get lovenati to love YOU.
I wanted to sit in the front row, so I got there unfashionably early (yet not as anxiously early as Nikki McKibbin). To my delight the show was standing room only set outside under the stars in the FIDM courtyard with free booze and ample chow spreads that nobody chowed. I'm fat, you're not going to get me on camera scarfing down a pizza I don't care HOW gourmet it looks. Although, Carnie Wilson had no such boundaries, I saw her with a camera crew hovering over a plate of something probably saying how real women eat...bla bla bla. Well, my vintage polyester get up from Re-Dress was so tight that I felt the champagne bubbles in my belly. No room for hor d'oeuvres.
Anyway, the highlight of my night was telling the Dance Your Ass off girls that I was an event Dancer for their show at the Gay Pride Parade! Take a note, write it down. yes. that's lovenati with an L...thank you.
Other highlights were the lush ramblings of the HOFF praising and at the same time shaming his little girl Hayley. I'm sorry, but if my dad ever called me "stalky" in public I'd have him eaten...I'm sure Carnie Wilson would be to the challenge.
Oh! and I had no idea we were being treated to a Brooke Hogan Concert! It was amazing, she lip synced which would have been fine if I wasn't standing 2 feet away from her. Is it SO hard to find a fat girl to sing at these things? I'm just sayin...they could have called me or the Glamazons, or Frenchie, or Persia. I guess Brooke's size 12 feet were plus enough.
I met the really tall cool chick from More To Love. Anna K-K-K....Kleinsorge! We're bff's. really, she gave me her number. I'm going to see her do improv tomorrow night with Maggie Brown.
My posse - Maggie Brown, Anna Kleinsorge, Michelle Rene, Tiffany Blake, Laura Nelson Poorman, and Chenese Lewis.
hope you like my $3 torrid top I got in Chinatown at midnight from a sketchy place called the Garage. Used to be a Slaughter house.
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Who doesn't love Phyllis Smith? She MAKES the Office! She kicks Office Ass! She's one of the best character actresses on television and Phyllis Lapin is a role I'd be proud to get ugly to play. But when I get red carpet ready for the Emmy's I would separate the Phyllises, put away the fuglies and get fierce. Going to Sydney's Closet might be a move I'd pull, but I'd leave the matching shawl and cheezy handbag at home. I'd also soften the hair do. The forehead that makes Phyllis Lapin so ug-tastic should get covered up so the flashes from the cameras don't ricochet and blind the paparazzi. I'd also recommend seeing what Marina Rinaldi has to offer. For a woman her age and status, she deserves to shop on Wilshire. Marina is offering some fantastic cover up pieces this season that might have set that dress off right. Or she could have called up Deb Malkin of Re-Dress to have some vintage pieces sent over, vintage is always the classy way to go!
...and that's my 2 cents.
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I would like to thank UC and Moon of the most hillarious and well written Twilight blog, Letters to Rob, for giving my YouTube cover of Never Think a most hearty "YAY!"
I would also like to thank the 100 or so complimentary commenters who complimented me and even the one grumpy guy who said he didn't get through my first line (i'll win him over with cake).
I would like to dedicate this moment of glory to Jennifer Clark, my Twilight Dealer who got me hooked on this guilty pleasure. May I never quit the Pattinson.
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Dude! I dig Drop Dead Diva. I didn't wanna like it. I didn't like Less Than Perfect (even though it had Will-Sasso-my-love in it, and that cute kid from Chuck). I didn't like Dance Your Ass Off (see my blog on why). I don't like things just because they're about fat girls. I support them, watch them, then trash them here at lovenati.com. So I bought the pilot, just so they'd know I tried it but didn't buy the rest cuz it sucked goat balls. I mean really?! Lifetime? It's basically the Hallmark channel.
Woah. Wait a minute. Hold the phone, negative nati. This you didn't plan on. You didn't bank on dropping tears like it was the last scene in Untamed Heart. I was truly touched by this show. I had no choice, I had to buy the season pass on iTunes. The guest stars alone make it worth $34. I admit, although I feel like Brook Elliot stole my role, I think she plays it better than I would. (wink) The whole show is a major rip off of Legally Blonde, but I don't care. Brook does the whole in-court flighty ramblings of a blonde fashionista, but I don't care. It's awesome.
At the end of the day, this show deals with amazingly deep issues with out hitting you over the head with the no-shit-stick. It's a cleaver show-don't-tell piece about the skinny girl in all of us who is learning to love the body we're in. It's not just about size, it's about life. Real life that you don't see on all-skinny all-the-time TV.
And Margaret Cho is the fuckin' bomb as the snarky legal assistant. Go. Now. Buy it.
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I love Europeans. The respect for design. The sophistication. The charcuterie. I need more Europe in my closet. I need thoughtfulness. I need new cleaver concepts. My biggest complaint with the plus industry has been unfocused concepts. So many designers try to dress every fat girl and it always ends in an cheezy disaster. Well, Carmakoma, a Danish line is very smart and dresses a specific girl in a specific color. 
Calling all Art School Rocker Betties (and I mean real betties, not the pretend betties that shop at Torrid), your all-black wardrobe is here! I could buy out every last piece they've produced and be very happy with my closet. This line makes me want to dye my hair black. I think I will.
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I know I'm a demanding bitch, but when I buy a fashion magazine called Plus+ I want to see hot fat chicks wearing outfits that make me weep and fan myself like church on a summer sunday "Oh Lord! I must have those threads. Heavenly Father! I will go broke getting them, for they will change my life! AMEN!" I want to read interviews with spectacularly interesting people. I want to learn about sex, like how to minimize double chins while looking down at my man suckin on my toes. I might even want to read a horoscope.
Well, I did read Plus+ Magazine and I got none of this. They say it's a magazine for size 16 and up, and yet there was no one over a size 12. The graphics were atrocious. The only good looking page was basically an Evans advertisement and I'm sure it was designed by Evans. The rest of the Magazine looked like a template stolen from the Elder Care Weekly News Letter. The articles were stale and colorless, the writing was sophomoric. And you can't just take a picture of a hot chick, slap Plus+ over it and call it a cover.
There really isn't anything redeemable about this magazine, I'm sorry.
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I wasn't going to do this cover. It's not an easy song to sing and it's not really my vocal style. But I figured if I get 100 requests for it, I should do it. (yeah, that was me bragging. deal with it.)
I changed the chords in the verses to relative minors. (yeah, that was me bragging again. eat it.)
This means I've finished Never Think, Let Me Sign, and now Flightless Bird. There will be no more Twilight covers...unless i get into that Paramore song. Great! Seed planted.
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nati
Poker Face was such a hit, that I decided to keep the Gaga coming with this Extreme version of Love Games. I figured out how to export an iMovie into Garage Band and add reverb and backing vocals. So this is a special induction into the Accoustic Nati Youtube hall of fame. enjoy.
and by all means, go to YouTube and subscribe to my channel.
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nati
Guess what I get to add to my resume. VIDEO VIXEN!!! WHAT? EAT IT! BITE ME!!! I ROCK YOU SO HARD YOU NEED TO TAKE A SEAT!!!
I hope you enjoy this Soren Anders and The Staves answer to the Smiths' 1985 classic, "The Boy With The Thorn In His Side". Directed by Lucky S. Michaels. Starring Natalie Ferraro and Matthew Maloney. Edited by Izzy Rui
We filmed back in November of 2008 from Central Park to East Village to a dirty hotel room where we did unspeakable things that did not make the video. I'm still doing Our FAthers and Hail Mary's to make up for it.
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After gaining 80lbs in a sedate relationship, I've turned to writing and photography more while performing and modeling less. I know, it's very un-plushus of me and you all love nati just the way she is, but a moment of insecurity revealed how much I love to write and take pictures. Fear not, I haven't started watching soaps or anything, my YouTube page is still active and I'm moving to LA! So I'm not being a total hermit.
I was lucky enough to interview fellow YouTuber and friend, Meghan Tonjes while she was in town for the 789 YouTube Gathering.
You can read the article at Plus Model Magazine!!!
And see more photos of Meghan trying on dresses at Lee Lee's Valise!
Enjoy and don't be too jealous of my awesomeness.
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nati
Way at the top of the Ultimate Shit-List of Fat Stereotyping is the need to Glam up a fat girl as if the only makeover possibility is in the hands of a 4 year old beauty pageant contestant from Texas.
So imagine the ripe sarcastic rants that ensued when I found out that Dance Your Ass Off hired Lena Kosovich, a Russian Ballroom Dancer, to design costumes for the contestants. One can not come up with a more accurate definition of Glitter-Tacky than to pair up Russian with Ballroom Dancing then slap it on 230 pounds of flab twirling around a stage like the love child of Porky Pig and Tazmanian Devil at a Turkish Discotheque.
This show has taken the size acceptance movement back decades; which is appropriate considering the other costume designer, Warden Neil, is best known for working with the Jackson 5 and Bob Hope's Christmas special.
My eyes bled as they assaulted me with unnecessary half tops, cut up fishnet, chains, colors only found in Japanimation, and every fashion foible from the 80's and 90's.
I'm mean REALLY?!
A faux tuxedo with tight white shorts?
and knee pads?
and suspenders?
and a vest?
and black biker gloves?
and a chip'Ndales detachable white collar with black bow tie?
That one single costume situation took every rule of flattering-fashion and turned it into some bizzaro joke opposite world example. OH! using one color ELONGATES? Let's NOT do that!
And you know it's bad when the the skinny professional dance partners they work with can't even pull off the look.
I know a lot of this has to do with Oxygen and that network's image, but Dance Your Ass Off needs to raise the taste level, get a better choreographer, stop the bad karaoke and just pay for the original music, and get the judges OUT of that retarded disco ball!
my roommate just said I'm funnier in person than in blog...maybe I'll do a vLog rant on this...
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Tony Gale has a really interesting website called Some Interesting People. I was this week's featured person. Who's Famous? Me.
Thanks, to Diane for the nomination. You can go on the site and nominate someone you think is pretty damn interesting, too!
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I didn't even bother trying on Forever 21's plus line - Faith 21. Yuck. Looks like Kate Harding from Jezebel agreed with me. We usually agree on things. Until now. Kate said of Beth Ditto's new line:
"I'm afraid there's not enough hipster irony in the world to make it work."
First of all, nice top, Kate (she drips with sarcasm). I love you, but unless your name is Donatella, I think I'll pass on fashion advice from a Baby Boomer. (Here's a picture of Kate on the cover of Red Eye being featured as the grand dame of fat bloggers.)
So anyway, my friend Rebequita Facebooked me today. She lives in London so she gets to check out Beth Ditto's "range" at Evans (must be a british thing to call a clothing line a 'range'). Evans is the British version of Layne Bryant (totally bereft of trend) so Beth's "range" is a crazy breath of Venice Beach air among the stale solid t-shirts and gag-me flowy dresses. I wish I could fly to London to paw the line in person.
God Bless you, Beth. Thank you for always shaking shit up. I don't know how you pulled it off, but at first glance I'd buy every single piece of your line. And go broke doing it.
My only issue (and it's a small one) is with this model who is so very NOT plus size it's ridiculous. Beth wears the pieces better than she does. I love how Beth has no fear wearing the tightest dresses. Let's all adopt her brand of fearlessness. Oh, and Kate, the oversized kitty cat T-shirt is hilarious I'm buying it just to lovingly defy you.
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I was a girlie techno geek way before I dated a Mac Genius. I was born a few miles from IBM and Apple head quarters. I figure it's in the water. I worship at the temple Apple. And I love my iPhone like it were a member of the family. I'm building a whole page of apps dedicated to health. No, not just weightloss. But we'll start there. How can technology help me lose weight?
Here are my needs:
I love Lose It and I'm not the only one. My friend, Jeannie Ferguson of BGU lost 35 pounds using the app. GeekSugar and Mashable are on board as well, although I'm not sure if anyone from either site is in need of weight loss. I like to do searches on twitter and see how many people are discussing the Lose It app.
It's not a diet. It's a tracker. It tells you how many calories you should consume a day (I'm at 1900). As you add what you've eaten from their comprehensive list of foods (you can add to the list) it tells you how many more calories you have left.
Wanna make it real fun? Add exercise! It calculates it all for you. Then it helps you track your adventure over weeks and months! It also has recipe ideas and a great list of exercises and how many calories each activity burns in case you run out of ideas. I've only just started using it. I'll let you know how it goes!
Technology should aid you, not hinder or confuse. There is always a learning curve with new technology, but as long as it saves you time in the end, it's worth it. For me, this is perfect. I own an iPhone, I'm on it every minute of every day, and I don't lose it like I do pieces of paper trying to track what I eat. Good Luck!
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Part of the Acoustic-nati series. I take on the Gaga. No more chalkboard walls, I'm on my way to LA, this is a cute little sublet I'm living in for the next month!
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I googled "Keri Hilson" and "thick" and I'm not the only one thinking her dancers at the BET awards were solid ladies. Nothing too ground breaking, but it was a notable difference from the usual LA Pussy Cat Doll sillhoette. You know it's tight when your thickest dancer opens up the song with a full on FLIP!
In closing, you can NEVER tell how big/tall/wide someone is on TV until they stand next to Tom Cruise. I'll have to unleash my Tom Cruise/LA theory on you sometime...how he's solely responsible for the 4'9" actress-club.
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My favorite classic-size designer is Minji Kim (min-k). Back in the day, she used colorful jersey knits from Korea to make a one-size-fits-most clothing line. (An over-sized dress in her shop could sometimes fit me as a shirt.) I'm a fan of jersey knit as long as it's thick enough not to show all my flaws and can be thrown into my purse for a quick change later in the day. So, imagine my excitement when I saw the new BGU (Big Girls United) web site darning new jersey knit dresses and jumpsuits. So far, so sexy. I can't wait to actually try them on and give you a fit breakdown.
My favorite so far is the jumper. I hope I can pull it off.
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I love that New York Magazine took the time to aknowledge plus size clothing lines. If there's SO many fat girls with money to spend, why do the lines always flop? 
And why has no single line made every fat girl look fly?
Their big conclusion: fat people are harder to fit than thin people...with their crazy out of control bodies...
and it takes more fabric to cover a fat girl's body, eating away at profits...
What exactly would this mark up need to be? A dollar? Four? Ten? I know plenty of plus designers, and I know that extra fabric and buttons is not why they're going out of business. There are just as many size 6 girls bitchin' about ill fitting jeans as there are size 18 girls.
The point is, (and you can quote me on this): The trouble with Plus-Lines is there aren't enough of them. There aren't enough designers catering to each of the body types and outlooks on life...she might be fat, but she ALSO might be a southern belle, or a punk rocker, or a corporate tool, or a harajuku girl...she might be fat but have no tits, or carry her weight in her thighs.
How many clothing lines exist for thin girls and THEIR varried body types? Thousands? The sexy club girl that shops at Bebe is NOT shopping at LL Bean, but you don't see Bebe coming out with cordoroy pants and snow boots. The boxy young asian girl with no tits who buys Marc by Marc Jacobs at Bergdorf isn't wearing Catherine Malandrino. Yet every plus line tries to fit the entire plus population. This isn't fashion. This is segregation. This is stereotyping. You're saying all fat girls are just fat, defined by their size. Here is your fat uniform, fat girl, go forth and be judged. Torrid comes the closest to defining their target audience, young, punk, and trendy...and even they could use a more specific fit model.
Good businesses focus their product. Restaurants that streamline their menu do better. Businesses that have a specific target market do better. Fat is not specific enough.
I hear Beth Ditto is coming out with a line. Now THAT could be GREAT! talk about specific target market audience.
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Day 5 of Jay Miller's Middle Eastern Crash diet. It's not Middle Eastern, it's not healthy, but let's all support the hot guy with a million friends and a wife while he tries to get a little bit hotter. boo fuckin' hoo.
oh and I'm like 300lbs and I never eat any of that shit he's missing so badly. As a matter of fact, I ate an orange and 2 soft boiled eggs for breakfast yesterday. (you'll get that joke if you watch the rest of his vlogs)
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Laura Johnson is my favorite work out partner. No fat girl kicks my ass like she does, and she knows SO much about health and diet. I'm staying with her for a few months until I move to LA. We chant and hike and cook...it's great.
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Thanks to Adam Savage (@donttrythis) from Mythbusters for twitting about this Newsweek article giving Oprah shit for pedaling health advice that isn't approved by the FDA and the popular scientific community. They color her as a new age hippie cult leader. Then highlight specific shows they feel are especially harmful to the health of her "impressionable" followers.
Oprah is an educated seasoned journalist that spotilights interesting stories, asks probing questions and creates venues for dialog. I expect her to talk about controversial alternative medicine and books she likes to read. I want to know what Suzanne Somers is putting up her vagina and TMZ aint covering it!
I seem to recall Walt Disney and Howard Hughes also getting flack for being over the top, 'hair brained' and road-paving. You can thank them for a lot of medical and technological break throughs. This article holds Oprah responsible for dumb people's actions like bewildered parents blaming Death Metal bands for their depressed Midwestern teenager's suicide.
I'm buddhist. I loved the Secret, and I actually understood it. Just because some people didn't get it and are now refusing medical treatments in favor of positive thinking is not Oprah's fault.
I'm a lover of science too, and I respect Adam, but can we all really say that what he does on Mythbusters isn't also influential and dangerous and not completely scientifically sound? What he proves or disproves can't be published in a science journal. I don't base my life on his findings.
I also do not base my life on the FDA and their shady shit...and their shit IS shady, don't get confused. They claimed that even 7lbs extra weight is dangerous for the body at the same time Phen Phen made the claim that it's drug helps people lose an average of 7lbs...this is not a coincidence. And look into their public statements about high fructose corn syrup...it's like the UN, great intentions, lots of back door politics.
My point: Listen to your body. Take it all in and edit for your use only.
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While hanging out at Bar 4 to see a Paxen Film screening for the new Bay Rizz series, I met a cute jew with cute jew sideburns and knowledge of Madeline Kahn in History of the World Part 1 (no no no...YES!) named Justin Terry. A month or so later, I decide to find this punk on Facebook and start a friendship. In the process, I find another Justin Terry. I really dig his work and so will you. See? Platonic stalking pays off.
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I'm saving money and getting fit, so I moved out of my expensive apartment and instead of meeting people "for drinks", I suggest a walk in the park, a kickboxing class or salsa dancing. Recently, a fellow blogger, Adam, of The Life Vicarious, offered me a guest pass to the Reebok Gym gym and roof top pool. Sounds awesome, I love me a good swim, but I've never met this guy in person and even though it's only a platonic hang out session, I realize there are a few things I'd have to do to be pool presentable.
+ $100 Tanning
(5 sessions to hide my wretched spider veins and many scars)
+ $100 Waxing
(Brazilian Toe-to-Tummy...hair removal is the bane of my existence and trust me, shaving is not an option)
+ $100 Swim Suit
(i haven't owned once since I went surfing 4 years ago - oh and if you click on the link, that's my friend and former roommate, Nicole LeBris. cool chick. great plus model.)
Is it me? Or is being social really expensive? It's easier to sweat it out ugly-style on a 50 mile bike ride with my X-boyfriend or hike alone in Central Park with hairy legs. I did the calculations and it would cost about $500 a month to keep me fabulous. Don't get me wrong, I love being pretty, and I love to take care of myself, so maybe I need to get a second job to support the pretty me.
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I've always been proud of my body. Despite being fat, I've had a striking jawline, defined cheek bones, tight stomach, and perky tits. I owe it to my mother, who taught me the most important girl exercises -- Kegel contractions, boob crunches, and chin sucky puckers.
I'm in my 30's and I've totally neglected my beauty regime the last few years. The result is scary, so join me as I work through the issues we fat girls face as we get older and fight gravity, pollution and most importantly weight.
Last night, while walking around the Upper West Side with Laura, we ducked into Ricky's. I found the manager and got down to business. "I need a new skin regime for the new me. I need a beauty-magazine-reading old lady, wrinkle, firming, exfoliating, active, ass kicking regime."
Fat girls have specific issues that you skinny girls don't. Like these ridiculous lines I get at the base of my throat from lying horizontal at night (you know, sleeping) and my boobs rushing up to my face. See, my stomach is a giant mountain and when I lie down, everything slides down the mountain like a boob-a-lanche.
I got Avalon Organics' COQ10 perfecting facial toner and wrinkle defense serum. For a moisturizer, I got Alba's Sea Plus renewal cream. It's a very rich cream that disapears into your skin immediately (which is important to this oily skinned girl). There's also a light weight day cream if you prefer to use the renewal at night.
In one day, I've seen a HUGE difference. Even the lines around my mouth and cheeks (you know, the saint bernard fat cheek smile lines) are somehow softer and filled in. ONE DAY! 
Oh, and they're all natural and they smell really yummy.
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Looks like More To Love, a reality show about the ups and downs of dating when you're not uber hot, is right on schedule to be totally ruined by FOX. We hear the dirty uncle of reality networks is renaming the show The Fatchelor. I'm so happy I didn't get cast. I'd rather be unknown.
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I have 'mustard' all my respect and laid it at the alter of a blog called This Is Why You're Fat. Is there anything better than a humorous pointing of the finger? Mind you, I eat nothing shown on this site, but my Xboyfriend does. I mean, wow, he could be a major contributor. I was listening to some famous skinny actor talk about the junk food they eat. Then I saw this site and my first thought is...a lot of skinny people do this to themselves and joke at their ability to tax their body and still look good. then I think "fuck you".
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I've been a fan of Sultana since 2001 when I started working at Tribal Sounds in the East Village. Those 4 years changed my life. I've always loved music in other languages, but I never knew what was out there till I started selling it. Traditional is nice, you get to learn about the history and culture of a country, have interesting conversations with ethnomusicologists, but modern is even more exciting, where are the people now? how are they adapting to the "Western pop culture assimilation?"
Honestly, I just like the sound of language, it's an instrument, each one has a timber, and each one desires to be played differently. I like to see who's listening to the nuance of their language. Who's letting it lead them to a new sound? If music is an organism that changes and adapts, who is working organically to grow the organism?
Sultana is a bad ass, she's hot, she can really rap, and her beats pay tribute to her roots. If you go to her website, you can play songs from her album she recorded here in Brooklyn...I break her out at all my parties. Here's another video, the song isn't my fav, but the production is killer. This one is a killer song, but the production is very 90's.
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My mom is really beautiful.
My mom is really funny.
My mom and I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo which makes the distance seem not so bad.
When I was a kid, she had long black hair and a crazy Ban De Soleil tan...she looked just like Cher.
My mom's house is always beautiful, I call it Spa Mama when I go home.
My mom is a Cancer, single and available if you are a strapping rich single guy.
best memories of mom are driving in the car screaming out Jackie Wilson Songs...so I thought I'd scream one out for the mom. I love ya, patty.
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Yesterday was an awesome sunny New York Saturday. I woke up early, went to a local highschool where the DCL all gathered to make over highschool girls for the prom. Then I walked home, stopping by the Botanical Gardens and really loving my neighborhood. Then I taught a voice lesson. Then I went to work which doesn't feel like work cuz it's the best J-O-B I've ever had. Then on the way home I stopped at Sam's on Atlantic Ave for a fellow DCLers Birthday party and drank wine for a couple hours then took a cab home and recorded this.
sorry for the clipping and shitty sound quality...i'm updating my studio, promise.
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nati
Nati is drinkable and affordable. Keep nati on ice. Take nati to picnics. Chug nati at a frat party. Rednecks love nati. Offer nati to Juan, the fixit guy you found at the Home Depot.
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nati
I admitt it, I'm a Twerd. I've dowloaded the Twilight series onto my iPhone and bookmarked all the kissing scenes. I've even found a way to break the incription on the 5th book spoiler and upload it to my iPhone using Stanza. I call my friends and ask to talk to their daughters...we scoop on the latest Youtube vids featuring Robert Pattinson.
Ok, now you know. Judge if you dare. But know this...Rpatz has a voice like bathtub gin, and I've covered Let Me Sign and Never Think. Next, I'm tackling Bobby Long's songs.
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You will NOT be seeing me on any of these shows. BUT! you can see me on Youtube and Myspace and of course HERE!
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I am remarkably pissed off that I missed the showing of Robert Pattinson's movie, How To Be. I got it confused with his other film, Little Ashes, coming to New York May 8th for a few weeks. Now what do I do? I'm sitting here listening to the Soundtrack I pre-ordered and wanting to write a persuasive email to someone important. Oh shit, I don't know anyone important...so I'll write a blog.
REALLY?! really now?! I missed the 3 showings in New York and now I have to wait till it comes out on DVD? It's not like it's an unpopular movie...every show has been sold out. I can't even pay to download it. bugga wanker balls!
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Evidently children are going hungry all around the country thanks to Popeye's and their delicious value chicken psych. If only they had ordered more chicken! How could they advertise a sale on chicken and not stocked enough chicken!? People marked their calendars! People been waiting for this day for months! What will they do!? Oh yeah, they'll go to KFC...or McDonalds...or Wendy's...or White Castle...or Burger King...or Taco Bell...or any other fuckin' fast food joint that's one block away from the Popeye's.
Or maybe they could cook.
Thankfully no one in my neighborhood died of starvation as the lines wrapped around the corner all day and all night. whew!
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My friend, Ryan, sent this to me last week. "thought you'd enjoy it", he said. He thought correctly. Susan Boyle's little victory could be the thesis of my existence. So many times I sat down at an open mic and no one thought I was there to perform. I would be invisible for hours till I got up to sing, then roaring applause, the confetti throws and balloons fall from the ceiling, people weeping (true story) and everyone shaking my hand asking for my number. I am always amazed at the way folks treat beautiful folks, as if they have a line of social credit.
I sat next to a pretty girl on a flight from LA to NYC. While she waited for her luggage, a few people asked if she was in town for something important. Some guy told her he was a producer handing over his card...to look that good must mean she's good at something besides looking good. I asked. She doesn't sing. She doesn't act. She works retail and goes to school (communications major...yikes).
Being fat in New York is like being broke at the mall...other than people watching, what exactly are you here for? Yeah, I'm being overdramatic. Point is, the look on Simon Cowel's face when Susan opens up her mouth to sing is the single greatest feeling...not vindication but epiphany.
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Is it Obama's good influence? Or perhaps our salivating glands when the word Prom is mentioned? I think both came into play when we decided to adopt a very special school here in Prospect Park East. Only 5 years old, this is only the school's 2nd prom and the students are all new to America so you can imagine how bewildering the whole experience must be. I can't imagine what these girls will be thinking when droves of 'big sister's" in hats and dresses come to their school and make them over for prom. Last time I looked we had over 100 dresses for our little sisters to try on. Um...did I mention...Tina and I will be doing makeup and hair (OMG I'm so excited!)
Yesterday I hosted the DCL brunch at my house and it was a total blast! we collected some more dresses and drank champagne mixers...my favorites were the Apricot and lychee!
Don't worry, you may have missed the brunch and the after party and my amazing cold shrimp cocktail spread...but there is still time to donate dresses!
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I'm so excited to be sharing the stage with Scott Rudd this weekend. I've never played Googie's but the piano looks wicked so I'm excited. Scott reminds me a little of Samuel Beam, who also has a beard, and didn't start out doing music. Samuel taught film and cinematography in Florida before borrowing that magical 4 track recorder and becoming Iron and Wine.
Scott is a New York based photographer. Like Samuel, he started making music for the love of it and not some need to be famous. Thus, there's an ease to their sound that lulls me. I met Scott through other photographer friends of mine and he was instantly excited to hear that I taught voice and wrote music. After our first lesson we got a six pack of beer and stayed up all night recording in my kitchen. Since then we double bill quite often. During our rehearsal yesterday, Scott broke out the camera and here's what happened next.
Oh yeah,
I made my dress out of vintage Hollie Hobbie sheets.
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Finding fat chicks who make art that isn't just about being fat is a fulltime job.
I recently attended a Bobby Long concert filled to the brim with chicks of all shapes and sizes. I took video of the show and after posting on Youtube they all found me. And this is how I found Meghan Tonjes. She's a plus size Michigan-based guitar playing singer/songwriter who I found on the youtube page of one of my new Bobby-fan friends. The day after I found Meghan, Perez Hilton posted one of her videos on his website and twitter...in two days she had 40,000 hits...right now she's almost at 86,000.
I've been stalking her, plotting to kidnap her and go on tour, and basically declaring her my new best friend. True Story.
Watch the video...tell me we wouldn't make beautiful music together. Then go buy her album on iTunes! Suport plus musicians, you skanks!
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Weight has been such an inssue in China and Japan...a cultural obsession Americans can't touch even with our Golden God Hollywood Worship.
Many Canto Pop stars are singing about it:
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Title: 姿色份子
Title: A Member of the Beautiful (it's a play on word here . . . usually, we call the Intellectuals "ji sik fan ji" which means a member of the knowledge. The word "ji" for knowing and the word "ji" for beauty (one of the words anyways) have the same pronunciation).
為何面容淨白兼緊緻
Why does the face, purely white and tight
瘦削蛋臉 便算合時
Narrow and thin, like an egg (note: imagine an egg with the tip pointing down, the "perfect face"), is considered trendy?
手臂只有少許的鬆弛
The arm only has a little bit of loosening
已太丟臉 活著沒有意思
is too shameful, and living becomes meaningless?
神奇 保濕的忌廉
Magical, moisture capturing cream
能完全鎖緊水分去粉刺
Can completely lock down the moisture and get rid of acnes
更有那彩光修護店
Also there are those laser "repair shop"
人在世 無下次 全部要一試
Human in this life, there is no next time. One should try everything at least once.
CHORUS
＊不可思議 個個變姿色份子
Unbelievable! Everyone is becoming "A Member of the Beautiful"
美態等於尊嚴
The state of beauty has become respect
纖體主義 擴散了整個城市
The ideology of dieting has spread through the city
如同疫症感染
Just like an infection by a plague
終於 貝特瑪利亞麗塔艾美或翠斯
Finally, Betty, Maria, Rita, Emmy or Tracy
每個相貌也極似
Everyone's face is very similar
全沒個性與自我的標誌 倒模天使＊
No one has personality or the mark of a self. A molded angel (note: not the yeast mold but like a mold from which models/statues are made)
若求令男士目光轉移
An attempt to make the men's sight turn
強作嬌豔 實太便宜
One pretends to be tender and beautiful. It really is too cheap.
跟四周女子互相比試
To compete with all the women around
鬥美爭艷 實在沒有意思
To determine who is more beautiful. It really is meaningless.
試試 想得真實點
Try to think really
誰能搖身一變成模特兒
Who can suddenly become a model
各有各本身的特點
Everyone has their own special aspect
肥或瘦 圓或幼 無謂太刻意
Fat or thin. Round or skinny. No need to be too painstaking
REPEAT＊
不可思議 看看本週的雜誌
Unbelievable. Looking at this week's magazines
愛美標準一致
The standard of the love of beauty is uniform
纖體主義 灌溉這一個城市
The ideology of dieting has been irrigating through the city
全民受到恩賜
All citizens have received its grace.
REPEAT＊
Forever 21 is coming out with a plus line!?! My excitement lasted about 10 minutes.
Wow, I was just thinking how I need another white button up shirt, boxy tie die tank top, and floral print babydoll with no sleeves. Jesus, lord...it's like Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. As soon as a designer sits down and says "I've got funding, I've got resources, I will now make cute clothes for the fat girl!!!" they're replaced by the shapeless boxy tanktop/sleeveless dress monster. Did you see where that tank top hits her? Practically at her waist. Oh yeah maybe if I lift my arms people can see my belly button! I've always loved Sponge Bob, if only I had his silhouette. Forever 21 has some cute trendy pieces, it's what's kept them in business for so many decades...but they decided not to go that route...the route that's kept them in business. Instead they're going to make another hideous plus line and get all excited that they do it cheaper than anyone else. Good for them. I'll be here, sewing real clothes. Lemme know if you wanna join the ranks of the cool kids or feel free to be another fashion scavenging reject.
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I'm not a fan of her voice, but I do enjoy her tech and this video is a testiment to how easy the Tenori-On is to operate...it says "even a hot girl can use it". The Tenori-On is the light up gadget that makes her beat. The price on these babies has gone down to $200 from $1000...so feel free to send me one.
I've been dying to add some simple raw beats to my live show like Lay and Love by Bonnie "Prince" Billy.
And the Stylophone is just plain sexy. You just touch the pen to the keys. I've never played one but it looks fun.
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Someone from Fox (or their 3rd party casting agency) contacted me about auditioning for their new dating show "More to Love". Yes, Fox (the most tasteful reality show provider) is casting plus size women for a new 'not so hot' dating show. An experiment in how fat girls would react to jacuzzis and other shallow rites of passage in the skinny dating world. Wow. I'd like to think their heart is in the right place, but the producers are the same guys that brought you “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire". I've read their Q&A and they admit to being curious how we'll react to bathing suits and lingerie...are you kidding? I'm sure they'll throw in cheesecake fights and mud wrestling too.
So "why am I looking at your fucking audition tape, nati...you hypocrite," you might be saying. Out loud even. Yeah. I kinda promised myself I'd be less of a bitch and try new things that I'd normally think are lame. I'm even considering crashing the American Idol auditions even though I'm too old. I will not lose my cool. I will just step forward into the great unknown and do all the things I used to write scathing blogs about.
Who knows...I may find true love. hahahahaha.
I encourage you to join me. Fill out the application and send in your video, or go to Layne Bryant for an open call audition.
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So I read Fat Pig and I don't totally get why Neil Labute is concidered the greatest playwrite alive. I think he has a knack for creating asshole men who objectify women and wade in the shallowest waters of life. He also does their banter well. But I'm not sold on this Helen character and I was not moved by a tear worthy situation. A love story about a plus woman and a good looking guy? I should be rubbing one out every page, biting my nails, calling my girlfriends, pretending I'm the girl...something. It's a short play, I recommend reading it so you can be as sad as I am that there still are no really strong roles for plus actresses. (pun intended).
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i've been gathering a group to go see the new Neil Labute play I recently blogged about, Reasons To Be Pretty. Sarah, one of my more active actress friends mentioned a play he wrote a few years ago called Fat Pig. Which is currently running in London right now (dying to fly there just to see it). It's a love story about Tom and Helen and Helen is fat. Antics ensue. I guess Neil had his own issues with weightloss and that is why it's has become a topic for him.
I don't know much more, just wanted to say I'm going out today to buy the book since it is NOT available on eReader or Kindle! poop! Neil...please have all your plays and screen plays available for digital download...it's the best thing a writer can do for his bank account.
By the way, there is nothing more sexy than Jeremy Piven snuggling up to me...so I'm also going to photoshop my head onto Ashlie Atkinson's body (and crack no joke about her last name) and pretend I was in this 2004 Broadway production.
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I've posted 3 songs in 3 days. I wonder if I'll feel like posting another song tomorrow...i wonder if how long my streak with last.
I'm almost done with the Twilight books...I've slowed my pace to prolong ending...but I figure I can always start reading book one again. My full report on this guilty pleasure deserves it's own blog. Stay Tuned.
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I'm doing a series of first takes...where I sit down and play and make up lyrics. Oh, yeah...i made my dress. I can make one for you too if you ask nice.
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The longest comment in blog history was left here at www.plushus.com in response to a recent entry entitled "the Obama...I mean Queen Latifa Effect" about Claude Steele's the Stereotype Effect. His comment is below, Part 1 of my 2 part reply is above.
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TheAnonymousOne (March 11, 2009 6:09 AM)
Nati my dear - I have to take umbrage with your whole fat-prejudice platform. It's not that I completely disagree: Yes, fat prejudice is still an accepted prejudice among us today - and I for one want to see people's attitudes change regarding overweight folks - but I think you're going a bit far in trying to compare fat-prejudice to racism or sexism. No offense: but no one is going to take that message seriously. I am reminded of a Natalie Portman interview from two or three years ago in which she compared her own self-consciousness growing up to the "veil" as put forth by the renowned Black sociologist W.E.B. Dubois. She caught some flack for seemingly trying to identify with the Black experience. I'm not saying Portman's critics were right to criticize her, on the contrary, but I'm just trying to illustrate that by comparison, your statements about fat-prejudice being analogous to racism seems overtly gratuitous if not downright frivolous. Not to mention there is no historical basis of comparison between the two. Fat people have never been subject to the types of social & economic prejudices minorities have been subject to over the years I just fear that your message is going to (possibly) offend those who do not look kindly on those comparisons to their real struggles. Moreover, not all fat-prejudice is created equal. There is a definitive "preference" for some fat people over others - namely: Women. Women are by far more easily accepted for being pleasantly plump than men are. This may not seem to be the case among that class of emaciated New York Sports Club high-maintenance bottled-water-drinking debutantes, but certainly among many men and women. Women of your dimensions (and those of your fellow Plushus gals seen above) - are not necessarily seen as fat - you're "curvy" - "voluptuous" - "well-rounded" - in other words: your fat has padded you where it counts (i.e. T&A). Your particular caste of "fat" person can at least get a date on Friday night, even if you have self-esteem issues. Ask a few of your local roly poly fat guys if they get dates on Friday nights and I'm willing to bet most of them don't - not even from fat chicks. This is no secret really. Many of these plump gals are aware of their "assets" and readily exploit them to their benefit. Corpulent men on the other hand have no "assets" to exploit (perhaps with the exception of those who fetishize their body type) and on the contrary, negative stereotypes of them abound. So even among overweight folks there is definitely a hierarchy of prejudice. At least among minorities looking for racial/sexual equality - there is at least some semblance of solidarity. It's not the same for fat people, because obesity is neither cultural, racial, sexual or religious. It's not a lifestyle like being gay. While obesity isn't always a choice (there is definitely a genetic predisposition for some) it just doesn't fall into the same category as skin color or sexual orientation. Obesity is a condition - like dry skin. You either have it or you don't. Don't get me wrong, I don't say this to burst your bubble. I applaud your desire to get the message out and confront prejudice and negative stereotypes - especially those corporate messages intended to make people feel bad about themselves - I'm just giving you my opinion of what I think is the better way of going about it (and what to avoid). I would also feel more aligned with your views if you expanded your opinions on fat-prejudice beyond what I perceive as the the Queen Latifah - Jennifer Hudson Mason-Dixon line. These women are mainstream regardless of their weight or body type. You need to go beyond them and tackle "real" fat people - not just "pretty" ones.
www.plushus.com turns ONE YEARS OLD!!!! This is the quiet celebration...just you and me. I'm also opening up my first care package! Thanks, Acacia!!! You rock.
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You can now follow the Drunken Classy Ladies at Twitter and read our Blog for the latest on Brooklyn Brunching, Hat Wearing, Dress Making, and Classy Crafting.
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I've been filling up my iPhone with podcasts. My new favorite is Radio Lab. The first show I listened to was The Obama Effect, based on an article the guys at Radio Lab read about Claude Steele's theory, The Stereotype Effect. It got me thinking. What if we applied the Stereotype Effect to Fatties?
You can hear the show online or you can download it onto your iPod or iPhone for free from the iTunes store. The first part of the vlog is me venting over the 50+ spam comments I get a day here at www.plushus.com. I need captcha.
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This movie used to play on Saturday afternoon with Anne Bancroft and Dom DeLuise (oh how I loved the Dom). Cable and VHS didn't hit the market till I was 6 or 7, so most of my movie watching was done on weekend afternoons, but I never looked at the TV guide, so I'd just catch the ending. I think I saw the end of Coma like 5 times. Fatso was like this, I've seen it so many times, but I'd always catch the scene when he goes to get fast food for the whole family. The passenger seat filled to the ceiling with greasy hamburgers and fries and he'd pull over to finish the whole thing...then sit and cry. There are so many scenes in this movie that are right out of my childhood. When he cuts into the birthday cake on the way to his brother's party and his sister throws a fit. My mother used to have similar fits, made me feel SO guilty about it. This is the only movie I've ever seen that really explores the drama of being fat. I think I'll write fatso the musical...and make myself the lead character. I really miss Dom DeLuise.
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A very orange colored Donald Trump was a guest on Jimmy Fallon's new Late Night Show featuring THE ROOTS as house band!
The Roots = cool.
Donalt Trump glowing neon orange from hair to chin = NOT cool.
This takes me back to a Jessica Simpson rant...do these people have friends? If they do, these alleged "friends" should tell them they look ridiculous. You'd think that with money comes skin color that exists in nature. I'm poor and I've never had a Tang-Tan.
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Living healthy on a budget. If it's free, it's for me! I'll also talk about COFRA again...I may have changed my mind about Dare To Show Your Face.
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I was getting off the 2 train last night and I saw this billboard for a new play Reasons To Be Pretty. I was a little leery it might be one of those afterschool specials "LOVE ME! fat people rock!!", but then I saw it was written by Neil LaBute. In the Company of Men is one of my most favorite movies. RTBP is about a regular guy who really loves his girlfriend but notices a few of her physical imperfections and when he mentions them to her all hell breaks loose.
I love it! Let's all go.
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I really don't like these grand declaratory campaigns to show people how awesome fat girls are (consisting of nothing but telling people how awesome fat girls are). But the first 44 seconds of this video is cool. I mean, come on, who doesn't love stop motion??? AND! I found out this girl, Lindsay, actually posted some cool You Tube videos, check out her channel.
COFRA, the Coalition of Fat Rights Activists, invites fat girls to join the YouTube group DARE TO SHOW YOUR FACE. I guess you just make a video and talk about how cool it is to be fat. Well, I make videos all the time (they're called vLogs). These vLogs always show my face and I'm so damn cool, I don't need to say it. That's why I'm less inclined to participate at this point. But I totally suport the effort. The girls really are gorgeous, and I do love to see them talk about themselves!
With that said, I don't get COFRA and these other organizations of fat girls fighting for "status" in a shallow society, yet doing nothing truly creative to carve out a niche. My suggestion is that COFRA and other fat acceptance groups put their money were their mouth is and make a change as a group of consumers. Why don't you spend an ungodly amount of cash on innovative plus designers? Because right now fat people are the majority, yet plus designers with vision and creative guts go out of business every day. My opinion? Your money speaks louder than your fat face on YouTube. Boycott LaME Bryant and spend spend spend on the cool designers at Lee Lee Valise's boutique in Brooklyn. If you are at a loss, there are all kinds of data bases to help you shop smart. Like Lisa over at Beauty Plus Power. Or you can send me a message. Talk to you soon!
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Natalie Ferraro and the You Don't Love Me's is playing the Cabin Fever Festival tomorrow night. Come out, bitches. Let's get a drink after.
Cabin Fever Festival
The Medicine Show Theater
549 West 52nd Street (between 10th and 11th), 3rd fl.
Friday, February 20th
10pm $10
Valentines Day was OLD DICK! but I looked cute in my new lovenati dress and homemade sweater thigh highs held up by a sexy damn garder belt! WOO! OH! And great party, Aurea! here's a pic of me in my new dress and Juleah.
My goal is to get Jenita to join Rebekah and I at bootcamp! Great Big Task! If I do it, Rebekah's treating Smoothies and Salads! BAM!
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Today I bought www.lovenati.com. Part of the slow decimation of +plushus and the birth of my own blog, my own clothing line, and my own music...nothing epic. Just simple songs, and simple dresses and simple blogs.
thanks for hanging out!
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My dear friend, Caryna, introduced me to watercress before she moved away to miami. So I often recreate a version of the salad she used to make for me when we were roommates in Carroll Gardens...it's one of my favorite comfort foods.
watercress
pear
feta
walnuts
simple oil and vinegar dressing
sometimes I use raw apple cider vinegar (cuz it's SO good for you) but very little since it's
very strong and the flavors of the salad need balance...so experiment...I like it when the pear is the only sweet flavor that balances the bitterness of the watercress and the feta warms everything up...I'm NOT a fan of walnuts, but in this salad it works, feel free to use almond slices, or a fattier nut like cashews (yummmmm).
the picture of the salad above is a WAY more fruity (a more colorful and wetter) version of the original earthy salad:
watercress
cilantro
yellow/red bell peppers
persimmon
mandarin oranges
pears
oil/vinegar/mandarin orange juice/pepper dressing
by the way, i love using this picture of caryna. Makes it seem like she's my imaginary friend I tore out of a magazine and pet every night before bed. ...she puts the lotion on her...
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Wow! I just LOVE fat stereotyping in the media. Thanks, Januvia, for depicting all the diabetes patients in your commercial as obese. We all know that bad diseases only happen to fat people (like the gays, they deserve the fruit of their glutinous lifestyle). Being overweight is the real enemy. Skinny people, no matter how unhealthy or sedate their lifestyle, will find love and get better jobs with excellent health insurance (get famous on a reality TV show) and never need to worry about any bad things happening to them (and if something bad does happen it's an unavoidable tragedy). We should do what ever it takes to stay skinny. Those poor fat people with their diabetes that need Janovia. Pray for them.
If you missed the sarcasm up there, please check out a book called The Obesity Myth, the first chapter alone will change your life.
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i'm naked. I have wet hair. I am NOT wearing makeup. I'm talking about Apple Cider Vinegar!
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I would like to say I'm shocked that US weekly cut the President of the United States out of his family portrait just to make room on the cover to chide a fat tacky Jessica Simpson, but I am not. Poor Jessica...she can't even gain 10lbs. I guess that's what happens when the foundation of your craft is what you look like. I think she would make a fine member of +plushus accept for the fact that she can't even carry an extra ten pounds. +plushus girls have a special talent for being 100lbs over weight and still looking pretty...sorry Jessica, you're just not as gifted as I am.
Oh and obviously she doesn't have enough gays to tell her that outfit is a big fat NO at any size. Did she lose a bet and have to dress from Newport News catalogues? Oh and get a bra. Oh and tank tops in the new millennium are cut better than the ones from the 80's.
Ok, teasing aside, I love her body, she's awesome...more softserve pop stars please.
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Longest vLog ever...10minutes. but it's got some nuggets
1. nasty pics of Doc Rocket and Rebekah
2. me wearing baby jane makeup
3. drive the flu away with high heels and lipstick
4. CARE PACKAGES! send me a care package and I'll vLog on it.
5. changing the name from +plushus to lovenati...what do you think?
...so put the tea on, sit down, put your feet up and see me NOT talk about fitness today...cuz I'm so damn sick again!!!
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She's back, Bitches!!!!
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Things that irritate me come less frequently than things I love, though I believe they both deserve a little face time.
Today I LOATH subway rookies. Or at least people who act like it's their first time on a subway. I have even less patience for a should-know-better-New-York-native who insists on entering the train first only to stop as soon as they enter the car to secure the coveted Lean-On-The-Door section like some sort of first-class right of passage. If you insist on doing this, why not wait till last so the rest of us can move to the center of the train, pass on the right...all these very logical unspoken rules of travel. I have noticed MTA has an add campaign for the travel-challenged, but it doesn't seem to help. "hold on to the railing, you might fall" "don't hold the doors open, you might cause the train to go out of service." "don't give your bag a seat, give that nice lady a seat" Really? We need signs for this? No Golden Rule? No Do Unto Others brand of responsibility?
This applies to elevators as well. If you enter first, go to the back. If you want to be by the flashy buttons and the door, fall last in line when entering. This also applies to sidewalks. If you run into someone you haven't seen in years, take your little reunion to the side, out of the flow of foot traffic.
I won't go on. Either you know what I mean and the point has been made, or you are looking quisitively at the screen and all the examples in the world will not save you the next time you're in front of me on a subway platform.
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this is a 5 minute vlog. it basically says:
1. I'm sick
2. I've lost 10 lbs on the Flu Diet
3. I've only worked out once in 2009
4. check out my cute dog
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This year I moved to Lefferts Garden which is only two Q train stops away from the unaffordable bleach white Park Slope. In my neighborhood, every block has 2 wig shops, 2 99cent stores, 2 jerk chicken hubs, 2 corner stores, and a laundry mat. I have to travel to Park Slope for organic food, foods with out high fructose corn syrup, well... basically I get no substantial nutrition from my neighborhood. But on the way to Park Slope I pass 2 Mc Donald's, a Wendy's, a KFC, a Popey's Chicken, various fried food chains I've never heard of before but that seem to thrive in African American neighborhoods across the country, and a Papa John's or two.
So, when I heard this woman take a stand and ask that the fast food chains let up for one year so that some smaller sit down restaurants and good grocery stores can get a fair start, I almost cried. Actually it makes me wanna find out about the zoning board and community meetings here so I can be a part of the growth of a neighborhood I've grown to love deeply.
For America to malnourished it's people for profit is a crime. It's not a quick massacre, no blood, no rallying, no marching, no revolution, no intervention by a world court, no bigger stronger nation to step in and save us. But it's just as dramatic only stretched out over decades. You feed the poor unglamorous pigs your slop, you fatten them up, then you tell them they're shit for being fat and charge them more for health insurance.
I just want to run away to another country where life is about quality food, and quality friends, and maybe I have to become a farmer who sings at the local pub for fun, but I don't have to be cool, and I don't have to be beautiful. Let's go!
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As you know, the DCL is the most exclusive circle of somebodies in Park Slope. And yesterday the ladies of drunken classiness celebrated the wedding of their most beloved Queen Bee, Rebekah Peterson, at Sette Enoteca over champagne mixers and assorted egg dishes. Her wedding blog has been hailed as "off beat, but traditional." and the quinescential "indie/DIY experience" the theme is country livin', the setting - Poconos, the guest list - coveted.
"Is the famous plushus nati, the blogging broad of the plus industry going to be there" you ask? You bet your sweet tits she is and that means you will too! You'll get to see me outdoor iceskating, indoor pool partying, and behind the scenes with Rod Morata, the favorite photographer of photographers...the Ornette Coleman of picture makers who only shoots the most fabulous weddings.
I'm sure, by now you've noticed my tres chic cowel necked purple and black sweater with pockets. I found it at Loehman's for $40 and I just happened to have a gift certificate...I'd like to see you beat that, Thrifty Thelma. And it's worth the itching...purple is the new MGMT and peach belini's are the new bangs. Would you like to learn how I made my hat at 2am the night before the the brunch while watching Gossip Girl? I've provided with a link because I care.
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31. let myself be unpretty, embrace the flaws, strive to look real...especially in photos
32. keep my house very clean
33. make money off my blog
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This vLog is too long...it really just says:
1. I was too sick to work out this weekend
2. stretch properly after your workouts
3. drink fresh juices
feel free to skip this one...
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Boot Camp Fitness NYC is a great place to work out! No frills, no fancy showers, no fancey locker rooms, no steam, nothing but good old fashion sweat. The owner, Jeff is aproachable and knowledgable and also working on his own fitness goals, so I am always encouraged. 5 classes a day fits most schedules, every class is different so you're body doesn't get used to it and plateau (like with Curves...yuck). You also learn while you sweat...as they give you pearls of fitness wisdom from how much you should poo to how much water to drink to how far to push yoursel in class. There is an outdoor program, but even if you're doing the indoor...they find exciting ways to get you outside when the weather is nice...like running cross the brooklyn bridge. I totally recommend this place for all fitness levels since you can modify your work out and they never push you too hard. I also recommend this for busy people who can't plan their own work outs, it's like having your own personal trainer for only $90 a month. Also, unlike gyms where you have to look good, the goal here is to sweat hard and grunt and cry and push yourself to the limit so when you're done you feel like you can do anything!
Stats:
weight - 280lbs
goal - lose 70lbs in 8 months
work out buddy - Rebekah
rating - Boot Camp Fitness - 9
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1. learn to knit and crochet
2. ride horses in Prospect Park
3. go foraging with "Wildman" Steve Brill
4. take more photos
5. make my dream wardrobe
6. laser every last unwanted hair off my body
7. build a library that gives away all my secrets
8. take blogging to the next level
9. get into Boxing or some fighting sport
10. walk across more bridges
11. make good music with excellent musicians
12. improve my piano skills and play more instruments
13. write more songs in major keys
14. tour with a really great band
15. get paid for my talents
16. study buddhism and chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo more than ever to celebrate my 10th year as a member of the Soka Gakkai International...
17. use my passport for the first time
18. meet amazing people and forge beautiful lasting friendships
19. record music in Spanish, French, Arabic, Hindi, Mandarin and Japanese
20. surf
21. bring back radio
22. get tattoos
23. have the happiest family on earth
24. stop picking my scabs
25. cook with friends - make my very own recipe book
26. eat more whole foods, drink more water
27. make more play dates, more art, more music, and have even more fun with the kids!
28. see more documentaries
29. hold on to my identity in the face of love
30. forgive people who have hurt me
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I remember the day the arm rests folded up in movie theatres and airplanes...it was a fat girl's Hallelujah moment. I had a few extra inches to relax into. This world was built too small for me...like I'm the cabbage patch kid trying to hang out at Barbie's playhouse...Like I'm Will Farell, the giant elf, trying to get in and out of my desk at school...Like I'm like Alice in Wonderland and I ate something that made me shoot out in every direction and wear the rabbit's cottage like a dress. Damn that horrible feeling...that claustrophobic tension...pants that fit so tight I can't breath, pissing people off when I squeeze into that last subway seat that's really not a seat but little orange placeholder of how much room I should be taking up, yeah...even when I have sex with a big guy our stomachs compete for space...I have to breath out when he breaths in so we can play a sort of belly tug o war for the real estate between our bodies...or I have to not breath and suck in my stomach until I get light headed and give the safety word for him to kindly get off me...(see auto erotic asphyxiation...it's hot but it killed the lead singer of INXS)
ONE PERSON ONE TICKET. This is the new motto of Canadian airlines after a court hearing ruled they were discriminating against disabled passengers by making fatties pay for two seats. So if I'm spilling over my arm rest (which I do)...if my BMI is 40+ (which it's not...but close)...I get an extra seat. Why not? If a handicapped passenger needs an attendant to travel, that attendant flies free. Yes I'm sure all you fat-phobes are thinking this is just encouraging people to gain weight...as if the luxury of flying with room to spare is worth torturing your body with 150lbs of man-repellent fat...sounds about as ridiculous as gouging your eyes with an icepick so your friends can always fly free disguised as your travel attendant...now, if it were a free upgrade to 1st class, you'd be onto something.
I'm having a hard time with the fact that in order for the supreme court to pass this ruling, they had to declare obesity a handicap. And I guess in a world built to half scale...we do feel handicapped. Left handed people die more often than right handed because the world is built for right handed people...so being left handed is also a handicap. Doesn't make us sad or inferior. We're just not charmed or pampered...just means the world caters to someone else...and that lucky person lives longer, gets paid more, has a pretty wedding in the Poconos, and people instantly like that person straight away from across the room cuz they're the ideal...and the rest of us are...handicapped.
thank you for flying plushus airlines.
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The one line that stuck out during the NPR coverage of one-lap-top-per-child in Peru was that it is up to the parents to fix or replace a broken laptop. "A laptop costs an entire month's salary for the villagers". It costs more than a months salary for me. does this mean that I'm as poor as these Peruvians? No matter how much money you make you can always be in a survival mode of sorts. Your salary based on where you live, rent based on that, food based on that...if I moved I'd make less, pay less rent...but does the ratio change? isn't it the same basic formula? you never have the money to buy a computer, you just pay for food and rent and you hope someone gifts you a new bra. Of course I'm not as poor as a Peruvian villager...but the idea of poverty at 25K a year is very real.
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The closing of Tribal Soundz on 6h Street was a hard pill to swallow. The closing of Love Saves the Day on 7th st. and 2nd ave is really messing with my memories. Next thing you know Moisha's bakery with close...or B&H. why??? Didn't I buy enough vintage playboys from that place to keep them in style? curses to the East Village rent hikes over the last 4 years...driving out the life's blood of the neighborhood. There's a dunkin donuts on 6th and 1st ave. I think this is the end. Manhattan is just another strip mall.
Go to the corner of 7th St. and 2nd Ave. Get some Pomme Frits with the Mango Chutney...or sit at B&H and enjoy their soup of the day. then head over to Love Saves the Day and get a nic nac...or a leather jacket...or a 1962 playboy.
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Chenese Lewis and Jamil Kali have the hottest plus size calendar on the market becuase they use the creamiest of the crop of plus size models (like our favorite LA tart, Ivory May). This year they have something they've never had before...a song called Flawless sung by me, your favorite fatty blogger, Natalie Ferraro! I wrote the song and recorded it in my kitchen to a beat by German Production Team Brixx and Pat...Brixx is kind of a big deal rapper in Germany (like the Hoff) and while she was in New York, we hung out and wrote some songs together. Go to the Flawless website, listen to the song and buy the calendar!
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I was chatting with Dana about how I'm on a mission to get as healthy and glowy as possible before Rebekah and Justin's wedding up in the snowy Poconos where there are 2 indoor pools and one BIG excuse for a Pool Party. "Dana" I said "I need new and exciting ways to work out." And this is what she suggested.
Dan Dance Party is a room full of girls shaking their ass with abandon and most of the time with no choreography. There are 3 rules ”No booze. No men. Leg warmers optional.” It's the dance party for those of us who don't care to look good, don't care if they suck, don't care to do anything but fling their hair about and make up sassy moves like they haven't done since elementary school.
In the first grade, Emma and I used to make up dances and perform them at school (Let's Hear It For the Boy, and I Need You Tonight were two I remember fondly). Sarah and I put on Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band and danced around the house half naked. There are some crazy things you need to let out and in New York with roommates and boyfriends and subways...there's no outlet to really just get ugly with it.
I have a gig Saturday Night...but Sunday at 2pm I will be at Astor Place gettin down with my new hommies.
I'm just dying for an excuse to wear a sequin headband...can you say FAT XANADU?
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Thus begins a new series called "SHE SO +PLUSHUS". Let's bring it back to what this blog is really about!!! HOT +PLUSHUS FEMALES....DAMN!!!! Thank you, Rosie! An excellent example of what a +plushus girl is....brilliant!
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In a series I call "name dropping"...
I kinda know this kid...not really. He's one of the founding members of Paxen Films and a pretty good drummer. If you've never been to Bay Ridge or seen Saturday Night Fever...then watch it anyway and learn something.
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I am not sure what this hand sign means. I guess Bush does. Cuz he's down with the NCAA. What a slick brutha. I got inspired...maybe I'll get down with hand signs too.
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There are a few things a Classy Lady needs on a Sunday morning...a group of gals to meet for brunch where they serve unlimited mimosas and bloody mary's, a pair of Jackie O sunglasses and a purse so large you can disappear behind it (you're recovering from a Saturday night you'll remember as soon as the omlette comes, so let your accessories speak for you), oh...and top it all off with a fabulous hat.
I am a recent inductee to the Brooklyn Chapter of the Drunken Classy Ladies Society. Brooklyn socialites are a whole other breed. You don't need money, you don't need fame...so what do you need? An invitation. I believe it was my infamous status as +plushus founder that got me the invite.
I have been in New York for 8 years and rarely have I found a group that has embraced me the way the DCL has. Founded by Rebekah Peterson, the DCL is a group of what I lovingly call the Broads of Brooklyn...the Saucy Sista's of Staten Island, the Jezebel's of Jersey, the Je ne sais quoi's of Queens!
Having a group of good girlfriends is better than a boyfriend. Even if you're not that social, it's important to have girls to check you...to put you in your place...to impress...to network...even if you're a tomboy hate women...you just haven't found the right women.
I encourage you to start a chapter in your area and send us pics of your brunches along with your address...if you do, I bet the original founding members will send you a surprise!!!
love
nati
this is truly the worst vLog ever...do not watch this...it's only so i can look back on it when i'm 80...but you...please don't waste 10 min of your precious life listening to my monotonous speaking voice tell you the droll details of my day...
love
nati
The Ron Clark Academy
Raps about the Election on CNN
to the tune of T.I.'s hit "Whatever You Like"
Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah
Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah
(McCain supporters)
McCain’s the best candidate
With Palin as his running mate
They’ll fight for gun rights, pro life,
The conservative right
Our future is bright
Better economy in site
And all the world will feel our military might
(Obama supporters)
But McCain and Bush are real close right
They vote alike and keep it tight
Obama’s new, he’s younger too
The Middle Class he will help you
He’ll bring a change, he’s got the brains
McCain and Bush are just the same
You are to blame, Iraq’s a shame
Four more years would be insane
Lower your Taxes - you know Obama Won’t
PROTECT THE LOWER CLASS - You know McCain won’t!
Have enough experience - you know that they don’t
STOP GLOBAL WARMING - you know that you won’t
I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA
Stick with McCain and you’re going to have some drama
We need it
HE’LL BRING IT
He’ll be it
YOU’LL SEE IT
We’ll do it
GET TO IT
Let’s move it
DO IT!
Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah
Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah
I’m talking big pipe lines, and low gas prices
Below $2.00 that would be nice
But to do it right we gotta start today
Finding renewable ways that are here to stay
I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA,
Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama
MORE WAR IN IRAQ
Iran he will attack
CAN’T BRING OUR TROOPS BACK
We gotta vote Barack!
Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah
Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah
So, I think if not just for the free coffee at Starbuck's and free ice cream at Ben and Jerry's (41 3rd Ave @11th street in the East Village) you should go out and vote. I mean if not just for that.
love
nati
Wow, fad diets make me ill. And the the pond scum who peddle them to young impressionable girls should be publicly humiliated and thrown in jail. Thanks to Big Fat Deal and Fitness Fixation for turning me on to this topic. I guess I've never given any thought to the 'diet' industry cuz I knew at a young age it was a crock of shit and I didn't want to totally ruin my body. Now, if I work out, I lose weight. Even at 33, my body responds to a healthy lifestyle while my friends who yo-yo diet are stuck killing themselves with a bottle of anything GNC will sell them and a few fingers down their throat. And NONE OF THEM LOOK LIKE THESE BONE THIN CHICKS! They always look the same, unhealthy, the kind of thin created by caloric deprivation and no sweat. Their body just hangs on their bones. Gravity pulls them down. Their skin is grey.
YES! the age old Nicotine diet! and now there's a patch! I can't say anymore. It's retarded. And so are you if you buy into this crap. I'd rather be fat.
love
nati
I been a fan of Smoove B ever since I first picked up the Onion on the corner of 6th st. and 1st Ave in the East Village back in the day when I was young (i'm not a kid anymore)...and for all the fellas who look bewildered as we ladies school you in the art of not being a stone cold dumbshit...here is a perfect apology letter you can send to your sweet Popsicle when you show up to the date with out any money, or go on that camping trip or 2 or 3 with out inviting her, or when you act like a pussy while some mutual friends drop social bombs on her pretty little head. You know who you are. Get yo shit togetha...and say it right like Smoove B.
love
nati
I was just reading a sweet blog on the glamazons and their new reality show piolot, America's Got Backfat. Personally, I don't like dated cabaret or song parodies (unless done by wierd all). I especially don't like stereotypicaly funny kitchy fat girls. But I love Meryl Finger and so she can be the exeption to my stern opinions...plus it's not like I haven't dabbled in my day...my Glamazon name was Fluffer Nutter...
This is the Glamazon group I remember... version 1.0. All burlesque all the time. I joined after World Famous Bob left. I tracked Meryl Finger down back in 2001 after getting newspaper clippings of the group in the mail from several friends saying "you should do this!". Being a Glamazon was liberating, I sang One Night Only at Webster Hall in pasties and a pair of boyshorts. I spearheaded new numbers like the Shirley Basey Remix version of Big Spender which we performed at the Rainbow Room and Natacha Atlas' belly dance hip hop remix of I Put a Spell On You we performed on the local news. So many great stories and good times, but I left to pursue my own music. I actually left to start a plus girl group called +plushus, but it was the same as being in the Glamazons. Sure, the music was original, no more cabaret parodies making light of being fat, but it still felt cheezy to me. Cheezy in that it wasn't the music that was in my heart and I stalled my development as a musician to hide behind a fat girl gimmick...I wasn't pushing my talents, I wasn't meeting better musicians and growing my sound and developing my unique voice. So this summer I dissolved +plushus and left the producers to start my own band and make music I love.
I've never felt like singing about how cool it is to be fat. It's cool to be me. But being fat in a shallow society sucks balls and not cuz i'm flawed but because most other people are. I've always hated being treated differently depending on how much I weigh. When I was running 2 miles a day and had a flat stomach, guys would buy me drinks and shelter me under their umbrella, and carry my heavy bags. When I gained 80lbs, i was invisible. So no, I don't feel like singing "Shake It" or some joke parody about how I eat corn beef on rye with a knish on the side...and although some of the +plushus music was a little angry like "Say No", it still sat on the surface, didn't move me. I wanna sing about how fucked up it is that you used to dig me but now you don't cuz of 80lbs. I wanna sing about being alone, about being picked last in gym class, about being preyed on by men who think I'm desperate, about never being #1, never being chased, never being craved, never taken out, never really loved.
I totally support plus women and I fucking love Meryl. But how many plus lines of clothing have no unique perspective? how many wide calf boots are subquality generic knock off's of last decade's style? How little greatness do we see in the plus industry? Be careful of the gimmick...of creating art that can't stand alone unless it's attached to the gimmick. Gimmicks can be empty and are a form of segregation. It also can be a way of avoiding what makes you truly unique. I heard Harry Belafonte speak about black entertainers back in the day dreaming of playing the roll of a man, a husband, a father...not just a token black man. Well, I want to be a musician, not just a member of a fat girl group.
Expect this website to go through some changes...I'm making clothes, I'm rehearsing with my band, finding my unique voice apart from being fat...and generally having a good time.
love
nati
It was a difficult decision to post the Weezer song and not her cover of God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. But I do actually think for a first impression of Julia Nunes (and her charming but shaky vocals), this has just enough light-hearted feel-good pop-jollies to make you want more...go on...visit her YouTube channel and subscribe. I still think Toxic, by Molly (aka Sweetafton23) is the most genius Ukulele cover on YouTube.
love
nati
Let it be known, Janice Dickinson is not into fat people.
I found out from Ivory's status on facebook that she, along with Mia Amber Davis, were going to be on episode 7 and 8 of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency show this week. Janice's son had the foresight to bring in 3 plus size models to the house to grow the agency. I see now it was a reality show stunt just like the time the Glamazons were asked to be on the Restaurant and they just happened to sit us next to a table full of the Bow Flex Male Models. Gee...Let's see what happens when we send an entire cake to the fat girl's table. I remained poised when all I wanted to do was throw that cake at the producer. I get so irritated with the pedestal good looking people get placed on. 
But someone as successful...as drop dead tight bodied and talented as Ivory...I mean, have you seen her? Are you looking at this photo? Cuz I'm at a loss. A veteran model like Ivory who's made more money and traveled to more countries than all of Janice's girls combined should have been respected for being the best at what she does. Instead Janice threw tantrum after tantrum displaying sick shallow prejudices. It really broke my heart. And I was equally sickened by the other models who regressed to elementary school...I was waiting for the "fatti fatti two by four" song.
Ivory never skipped a beat even when she was on set and Janice gave her backhanded compliments like "you look amazing according the client" the photos were flawless, the client was happy. I'm also blown away by Mia's calm reaction to the whole situation. Acting as a client representing Plus Model Magazine looking to hire a plus model for an editorial spread and possible cover, she maintained composure and kept things light even when she was clearly being belittled and harassed...ummm...she's the client...right? She's got money to spend? Where is the problem? You don't like fat money?
Don't just stand there...get your finger out of your nose and get involved, go to Ivory's blog on Janice's site...comment...then go to Janice's blog...make your opinions known. This is obviously a sore spot for that poor old woman...let's help Janice reflect. She needs us. It takes a village.
love
nati
Junko Mizuno is one of my special favorite female artists. So, when I heard she pimped an 18 inch tall My Little Pony for the My Little Pony Project - 25 ponies for 25 years, I got all tingly inside. Japanese Pop Art meets Crafting meets Graffiti meets My Little Pony...meets star studded charity event. Hasbro teamed up with Give Kids The World Village (an Orlando non-profit resort for kids with life-threatening illnesses and their families) and a hand-full of artists and famous people who fancy themselves artists...like...
* David and Courtney Cox Arquette
* Leah Remini
* Leanne Rimes
* Deborah (Debbie) Gibson
* Amy Grant
* John Stamos
* Kimora Lee Simmons for Baby Phat
Amy Grant? My life has new meaning...the random things I love have intersected in this moment...everything has come full circle and I am right now singing Love of Another Kind (yeah I was into her Christian Music). This is wild. Other exciting moments were Claw Money's Golden hip hop pony and Toki Doki's signature red and pink zebra...bidding started at $500...sold for $5000. Street art and Graffiti is ridiculously overpriced...
love
nati
While I watched the debates, the words "it's a well known fact" or "any one can tell you" or "do the research" were over used. Thanks to Jed Lewison from the Huffington Post for splicing in the actual sound bites to support Obama's claims. Too much hearsay makes any debate daunting to watch..."they say".
I think I'll be the Proverbial "THEY" for Halloween and walk around saying "Well, you know what I say..."
love
nati
Lent, Ramadan, Yom Kippur...Fasting is not about weight loss. It's an opportunity to cleanse and rest our constantly satiated bodies...to test our willpower...to remove a vice that uses up our productive energy...to lighten our load.
San Francisco - Mission District - 1999, I started chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, did the Master Cleanse. Inspired by a gorgeous Moroccan lover, I decided to observe Ramadan. Fasting from Sunrise to Sunset was challenging, but I found all these amazing people to break the fast with every day like the Egyptian guys who ran the pizza place on Valencia. They'd invite me to the back of the kitchen for this HUGE spread of rice and peas and kabob and yummm. So it was also about community. I've never believed in the hierarchies of religion but revel in the community...the dialogue, the support, the reflective conscious friendships. There is so much we can do without. Simplifying our lives is a form of fasting as well, technological fasting (put down the crackberry). I am going to erase my contacts from the iPhone for a while, stop texting that guy who needs space, let people come to me. Then I think I'll add people's information by hand and do some spring cleaning. You can fast socially too.
I have recently decided to quit +plushus and only do music that I love and not worry about the gimmicks or whether it will sell. I will still write this blog, but the name may change. Creative fasting is also nice...only do what makes you deeply happy and don't equate fame with success. This is harder than Ramadan.
I saw 40 days and 40 nights where Josh Hartnet takes a vow of celibacy for Lent. And I wondered if I could swear off that old standby lover. After so long I still trip on my words and chase him and lose my posturing...I feel retarded and sexy around him. Maybe it's time for a sexual fast...open my life to new relationships.
There is no right way to fast. Just find the excess in your life and trim down. I recommend fasting one day a week on juice or water. Lots of sun and lots of deep breathing.
love
nati
I remember when I used to sell dumbeks and djembes at Tribal Soundz. I was the DJ/shop girl. I could tell what song to play for someone as soon as they walked through the door. Natacha Atlas (i put a spell on you), Uzbekistani electronica, Suba (cuz everone loves anything from Brazil) Habib Koite, Orchestra Baobab. I used to fill in for the digeridoo teacher and the jaw harp teacher and I had my own classes teaching kids to drum and their moms how to sing lullabies in 10 languages. East Village was my spot, I made friends with every sitar player on Indian Row. My roommate worked at Brick Lane and we used to drive to late night spots after work like the soup dumpling place in china town. I met the one-armed drummer from Def Lepard. I met the drummer from Spin Doctors. I sold a Balalaika to the Darkness.
But I'll never forget the day Avery Brooks walked in the store. He was a music major at NYU and total gearhead...a major moogalicious electrostud. He asked me to join his trip hop project, Skoorba, and we've been friends ever since. He's playing with Ravens and Chimes right now but we'll be gigging again real soon and going back in the studio for our second album. He's my Vocodor hero.
love
nati
While at Kinokuniya Bookstore with Natalie, a girl I babysit for, I found Japanese Kyuuto Crafting books and magazines. No, I can't read Japanese, but most of this stuff is pretty self explanatory with pictures to guide you.
I feel like I never got to be a little girl. Although this may be more my own doing, I think my mother wished I were a purse carrying dress wearer, but it just didn't appeal to me back then. Well, it does now! i want to wear clothes with felt dolls attached to them and crotcheted things and flowers made of yarn and ribbon, sequins and beads, socks with my mary jane heels.
I bought a couple books and got some great ideas to spruce up my wardrobe...I just want to drink tea, cuddle with my dog and craft. Occasionally gig with my trip hop band, Skoorba. All in all, I just feel real good about life...hugs and puppies and buttons and bows, ya know? Soon Obama will win the election and I'll be sitting pretty in flower'd frocks and curly locks.
love
nati
Everything we consume leaves a mark on our hair and about 80% of what's in our hair is corn. I know, I'm obsessed with corn. This is my 3rd or 4th blog about it. All a part of my quest to better understand why I eat pretty well yet am so damn fat. I grew up drinking milk by the gallon and eating cans of corn like it was going out of style. When I moved out on my own, I'd fill my cupboards with canned corn. It's always on sale and I was on a budget. I found out later it's a starchy sweet veggie, not to be over eaten like say, celery which is all water and lots of fiber. I was eating chunky applesauce last night, I never even thought to look at the label...I mean, it's apples, the number 3 sweetener of all time. Well, I was hoodwinked...there was corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, corn solids....there was like 5 types of corn in my applesauce. Is nothing sacred? Is there no safe haven from this evil yellow monster? Even my meat is corn!
Go to your Netflix, order King Corn, and change the way you look at food and our corrupt hypocritical system of agriculture.
love
nati
This is part of a series I'm doing about my friends...fondly referred to as "name dropping".
One of indie music's great unknown lead guitar players is Mike Strandberg. He's a guy who quietly gets around, plays with a lot of bands you listen to, and he's a friend of mine. He has a band with his brother called Brian Bonz, part of the burgeoning music scene in Bay Ridge. Right now he's playing bass for Kevin Devine and the God Damn Band.
Oh and he's a director in a film production collective called Paxen. Here's a video they did for Kevin Devine.
love
nati
Asia is a talented plus model I met in my travels and have yet to have the pleasure of working with. Check out her spread in the October issue of Essence Magazine!
love
nati
I've been a fan of the ukulele stylings of Sweetafton23 on Youtube for a long long time. I saw a vLog posting on her site (which can only be truly appreciated after you watch her play ukulele). I found out her name is Molly, and was moved to share the magic of Molly with all of you. You can subscribe to her Youtube chanel (as well as mine, if you haven't yet.) And she has a blog. And she has a live journal sing along club. I feel less alone in the world knowing I'm not the only one who enjoys Bollywood, sponge bob, improve everywhere, and cats playing theremin.
love
nati
Don't you LOVE these new commercials from the Corn Industry? You should, you paid for them with your tax dollars. The poor starving genetically modified corn farmer with a surplus on their hands needed to make this commercial to convince you that High Fructose Corn Syrup isn't evil (cuz america is getting health aware so they're in danger of having to turn their HFC manufacturing plant into...oh I don't know...Ethanol production which would mess up the food racket they got going). 
So they hired an ad agency (like so many farmers do) and the ad agency said "Hey, kids!!! Let's create awareness by branding HFC with a cute clean corn logo and a well designed website (or two) and let's make commercials where calm cool and collected HFC consumers ask some ignorant person what's wrong with HFC? Based on their insecure silence and complete lack of knowledge people will believe it MUST be ok...just like sugar or honey as they'll say in the commercial." Their bi-line is "no artificial ingredients" They fail to mention the FDA's wafting between allowing them to call it natural or not. And even if it is natural, so is cocaine, so is opium and so are many other illicit drugs that are made from harmless natural ingredients. It's the complex chemical process they put the natural ingredient through that concerns me. I encourage you to read up on how HFC is made and how it is a preservative sweetener, indestructible and used only to hook you on junk food. So when some 'health expert' from iVillage says, HFC isn't bad for you, it's just the junk food they put it in, realize how ridiculous they sound.
And sleep tight knowing that even if you're a health freak and never consume anything unnatural, genetically modified corn is being produced at $3 a bushel while only selling for $2 but thanks to us, they can send their kids to college cuz we make up the extra dollar. Yay us! and Yay Bush! for signing the $190 billion dollar farm bill subsidizing luxury crops so Mars and the Coca Cola Company get a discount on their ingredients. I've always wanted to be a philanthropist.
love
nati
There are so many reasons to protest Fashion Week. The irresponsible use of fur (as if there are no synthetic alternatives). The pithy number of black models. The complete absence of plus size fashion. What kind of caste system are we living in? How disconnected is the fashion oligarchy when the civil rights movement was over decades ago and they still can't bear to hire some hot black chicks to wear their fancy threads? And how long will it be then until plus women are included in the upper echelons of the fashion world? It won't happen until truly talented designers create ingenious unique looks for a new aesthetic they feel passionate about. I'm not trying to convince Donatella to make it work for me. I don't want ignorant designers to weave their fear and loathing into garments that touch my body lest I pick up self doubt through osmosis. So God Bless Curves of the Catwalk along with Nic Moore (Miss NYC Plus 2008) for marching over to Bryant Park and gettin' their protest on!
Why the protest? Well cuz I believe most of the people at fashion week have never seen a fat person up close. So I'd like to think of it as raising awareness. And also, cuz it's time to get pissed off. I wasn't invited to the party! My people can't get behind the red rope! It's time to add a little fuck you to the mix, people. I'm tired of being told I'm too fat to live, too fat for you to expect me to be talented, too fat for fashion week, too fat to be in the fat girl group that doesn't even exist so we call it a "collective" even thought it's really just me (what?). I'm getting out of this gimmick race. I don't want to be the first fattie who starts the fat Spice Girls...and I don't want to be the token fat chick at Fashion Week...I mean...how boring...to watch a bunch of skinny twats model shit I can't wear...that must be some form of torture. I'll go when there is a curvy muthafuckin' walk off with clothes that make me wanna go into debt.
Please learn to sew. If you're fat, make your own clothes. Even if it's just for you. I did and it was liberating.
love
nati
I have never been a fan of most illustrators who pay homage to the curvy girl usually because it feels fetishy (in a bad way) and so rarely ISN'T tasteless. I can get down with Coop, and I absolutely adore Hilda, but that was about it, till now.
Molly Crabapple's style is vintage circus burleque females (in a GOOD way). My friend takes aerial classes with her and turned me on to her work recently. She's also part of the femme comi-con's...I'm always a little turned on by chicks that rock the boy's club.
love
nati
Sometimes you gotta call your friend who's a Mary Kay consultant from Queens to do a spa day for you and your friends. I'm sure all you hipsters are cringing. But how many of you trucker-hat-wearing vintage-tshirt-buying cool-kids are listed as the #1 female entrepreneur in history? She started Mary Kay Cosmetics in her 50's. When you're in your 50's you'll be having the tatoo's you got on Bedford Ave removed with lasers.
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nati
I've been a fan of Imaginary Bitches for while. Rife with B list actors and great writing, it's an All My Children reunion! Staring Eden Riegel (uh..Bianca from All My Children!) and Elizabeth Hendrickson (Maggie Stone from All My Children...do you see why I'm a fan???) I keep waiting for Susan Lucci to make a cameo.
I know I know...I should have shared earlier. Now you'll just have to bring your lap top to bed, and watch all 13 webisodes in a row which is not hard since there super short and very funny. I'd say it's #3 in the list of most LA...first being LA Story (I love you, Steve) and second being Entourage.
I like to comment on their blog spot as the jaded fat chick who can't relate to this drop dead hottie fest or Eden's attempt at being awkward...I love Eden, but really...do you think that bitch has ever been single for more than a day? Now THAT's method acting!
love
nati
I was given a Jenny Craig gift certificate, so I went to see if the diet my drop dead gorgeous sister goes on after every kid she pops out...the diet Kirsty Alley, Valerie Bertinelli and Queen Latifah all swear by, would help me too.
The center was close to my house, I went in the morning, met with a specialist, got weighed, got my picture taken, filled out some forms and picked out my meals for the week. Easy enough. It's like any pre-packaged diet. Frozen and boxed food is only so exciting. The fake chocolate bars and desserts were a total insult and tasted like ass. All of which is totally understandable given the nature of the diet. My issue came with the ingredient list. I couldn't figure out why I felt awful. I was sluggish, tired, and kind of ill. I noticed there were preservatives and High Fructose Corn Syrup in everything, even the salad dressing and the 
sandwiches. I'm sorry, but I don't want sugar in my salad! At my next appointment I asked if there was a list of foods with out HFC. I was greeted with blank stares and the blinking eyelids of an uneducated group of women. They suggested I call corporate. Why should I call corporate? YOU call corporate. I decided to give it some more time to really see how I feel and if I could make the program work...so I looked for HFC-free foods. There is no way to do the diet with out consuming more HFC than I do on my own (which is almost never. i don't drink soda or use ketchup or snack out of a bag). I am in the process of researching other ingredients they use that are not in keeping with modern 21st century common knowledge. Yes, I understand prepackaged foods use HFC cuz it's the indestructible sweetener. Why do they need their food to outlast twinkies in some post apocolyptic race to be the last food standing? Why do some people still say HFC is natural and just as bad as sugar? If it can sit on a shelf with out breaking down, it'll sit in your body and not break down and the point of food is to be broken down and used up. They're in denial like an old republican arguing the Greenhouse myth. It really feels like a diet for ignorant old people. I can understand why Kirsty Alley has distanced herself from the program, and am royally confused how Latifah can talk about health when this is clearly the least healthy route to go.
The FDA puts so much energy into "fighting obesity" then let's a totally synthetic non-corrosive immortal glob sweetener into everything I consume. I've been rufi'd and there's no smack down!! In this crazy capitalist world, Big Sugar is going to make their money by getting into bed with every substance known to man...they wanna power cars and scrub your face and hook you like a drug so you can't figure out why you have to drown everything in ketchup and why your kid just threw a tantrum over cereal.
HFC, glucose, fructose, brown, white, raw, it's all sugar and it don't belong on my diet salad.
love
nati
B is for BadAss.
B is for Balls.
B is for Big Beats.
Brixx does it all.
I had the pleasure of hanging out with German rapper/singer/producer Brixx while she was in New York a few months back. Good times. She's big in Germany (i love saying that...it reminds me of David Hasslehoff only she's the real thing). She introduced me to German Reggae (Seeed) and Romanian Hip Hop (Miss Platnum). We took long walks, cooked good food, she's my dog's Aunt Brixx. For kicks, I started checking out her beats and we just clicked and spit out a bunch of songs. I started creating my own songs from the ground up in my kitchen, started recording the acoustic YouTube videos. It's good to have female friends who challenge and inspire. Only surround yourself with people that are good for you. Your worst enemy is a bad friend.
She's back in Germany, recorded this video and is helping produce my new EP. Bubble Pop Electric all the way. Joel would approve.
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nati
When I'm not busy being an online celebrity (she jests), I babysit for the coolest kids in New York City. One of my favorites is Natalie (together we are the Coalition of Natalie's for Obama and we have the Youtube video to prove it). Natalie likes everything I like and we often talk about politics or books or YouTube or her latest project or plan that is always terrifically interesting. The other day I said "what do you want to do today?" to which, she replied "I want to go to Kinokuniya." to which I replied "KinokuWHAT? " to which she...and so on and so forth till I ended up at Bryant Park following a little girl on a mission to give out origami stars and show me her favorite japanime, Higurashi.
There is nothing I don't like about this place and with a cafe for little japanese noshies and slurpies I can spend an entire day there just in the cute crafting section planning new ways to make my clothes more adorable. It's good to think about how simple and fun life can be when it's about making flowers out of ribbon or bunnies out of felt.
If a guy took me to Kinokuniya on a date, I'd probably fall in love.
love
nati
I'm going to be on Plus Model Radio tonight followed by Mia Amber Davis (who is a member of +plushus in the photo at the top of this site all the way on the right!). The show starts at 8pm, it's hosted by Chenese Lewis (the first Miss Plus America) and streams from the site so you can hear it anytime. TUNE IN!
love
nati
I went to school with Joel Starr back in San Jose, California. In high school, Joel and Lucas Rodenbush were the cool kids who took electronic music classes. Recently, after a breakup, I decided to look up old friends and schoolmates I could remember or search for in old yearbooks. Somehow I stumbled on Joel's facebook profile and come to find out he was producing music in LA! Rather than wait till I visited, I suggested making music via email. He was writing an album with a concept label about SPACE! And I was dying to create a new sound for +plushus. With-in an hour, he sent me this track and I recorded this demo in my kitchen with the iMac's crappy on-board mic. He gave me notes, and I was working on version 2 when he went to Brazil and never came back.
I'm deeply wounded by his passing. Making music is like dating and I had butterflies. Half the reason I felt confident changing the sound of +plushus is this working relationship we were cultivating. There was something there. Chemistry like that is rare and I was confident that I could make music I really love with someone who gets me.
I am still moving forward with a new sound and frankly, a new name as well. Time to take this project to a new level. this signature electro bubble shit is exactly my new sound...so get ready to hear it!!!
in honor of Joel Starr.
love
nati
Love Your Body Day is time for plus size women to celebrate NOW (the National Organization of Women) and honor each other. Every year I want to go, every year I can't. But THIS year, I have been invited to perform by Chenese Lewis (NOW's spokesperson and the first Miss Plus America) so we're busting balls to get there. I can't wait to find out who will host this year (how will they top Mia Tyler?) Go! Buy your ticket to LAX. Let's spend October 12th together! You'll get to be the first people to hear the NEW music off the NEW album!
love
nati
I recently moved to Lefferts Garden, a few blocks from the South East entrance to Prospect Park. I love the area, I'm super close to the Botanical Gardens, Brooklyn Museum, Library, Zoo, I have the coolest neighbors, no Starbucks, but about 20 jerk chicken shops and 99cent stores! I bought a dress for $5!
So, I had an Xboyfriend moment yesterday. The kind of realization after months of denial that it's really over and you're not #1 anymore and his other friends are just as (if not more) important than you. You are no longer desired or included in plans. He will sit closer to other girls, he will not touch you public anymore, he will not jump in a cab just to play with your hair (the only known cure for the worst day of your life), and he will not put on the Beach Boys and dance with you for no reason in the hallway.
I started a jealous-induced argument on the corner of 4th Ave and 92nd St. (the kind that robs you of any lingering cool points and leaves you with a caked-on embarrassment that never really scrubs off). I didn't know what to say...it happens to the best of us, the one person you chase and they never chase back and they're not better than you, they're not out of your league. I had to get away...I got on the subway, went home, grabbed my dog and took a long walk God Only Knows where but I was determined to enjoy my own company if it killed me. Time to act my age, get all hippie dippie lovie dovie with myself...take me on a date...learn new ways to masturbate...and dig me as much as I wanna be dug by a guy.
I stumbled upon the paddle boats at Prospect Park just north east of the Parkside/Ocean entrance. For about $15 you can spend an hour feeding ducks, finding little nooks with tree ceilings, picknicing on a secluded island. I did nothing so romantic but rather, paddled for my life, found a secluded spot in the middle of the lake, out of breath, I grabbed my fluffy white gay dog and in some sort of support-group-meeting embrace I wept...cried till I had nothing moist left in me and had forgotten why I was so upset. I should stay out on the water. Turn off my phone. Let the Xboyfriend float on by like the so many geese swimming around then past us.
love
nati
and
august
I only got into graffiti in the last couple years. I like stickering, stenciling, pasting, mossing...yes...you can tag with moss...a good use for left over beer. So I hooked up with Brie Spangler, a sick illustrator, and we created some really fun images of a sassy plus girl named MangoNati. Come to find out unlike bands, artists have it made on myspace cuz no one "doesn't accept illustrator requests". So I started meeting all these amazing painters and taggers and graphic gurus. Sure...sure...yeah...yeah...everyone loves Fafi and Miss Van...but I was kicking myself over this wicked saucy group of cartoon titties and pee-pee's called Phallic Mammary. I've always thought little ta-ta's and hoo-ha's have personalities and squirt little cartoon squirts and swim in the cartoon ocean or become boobie banana splits! What a glorious and small world...to find out that Jen Lu, the creator of PM was in the SVA school of graphic design with a friend of mine and so I tracked her down.
Female artists are pretty rare which makes me feel like her success is mine somehow...being a woman...it's like being an American when Phelps wins the gold. I love seeing her work while I walk down the street..the only girl on the wall...battling the smell of testosterone and wheat paste.
I knew she was a major success waiting to pop...(burst? naughty.) So when Jen was featured in the "No Boys" issue of PEEL magazine I bragged to everyone I've ever met..."I know her!". I bugged her for a solid year before she had the time to work with me. I feel pretty lucky to have gotten to know Jen and we had a blast designing this site together...if you like it, leave a comment or go to Jen.lu and tell her yourself.
love
nati
Sugar is an overwhelming subject. It's political, social, physiological, narcotic...al, historical. It's the last accepted drug fueling the last accepted prejudice. How does a regular girl like myself find a way to take control and sweeten my tea with a clear conscience?
My New Yorker Xboyfriend drinks 2-4 liters of Coke a day. I've been trying for years to encourage him to stop consuming white sugar which I believe is the cause of his gout. We watched this documentary that showed how processed sugar is cane stripped of magnesium, calcium, iron and potassium and in a process akin to a meth lab, cooked down to a dense liquid magma then recrystallized...unnaturally-concentrated...lead-dense. Also, 'healthy looking' brown sugar is really just white sugar with a dash of molasses. I read an Op Ed article about neurological side effects and other horrible things sugar does to your body, at the end they gave some great tips on how to stop eating sugar in a few easy steps.
I first stopped eating white sugar (for the most part) back in 1994 for health reasons when I dated a cute South American tennis player who had liver issues (he drank like a fish, but never ate white sugar or pork) and a good thing, cuz I found out later I have a genetic predisposition to liver disease.
Afraid of trading liver issues for ovarian cancer...I disseminate the evil effects of sugar substitute by using an advanced color coordination method. If I had to wear the sugar packet which one would look best with this dress? Blue, Pink or Yellow? I figure if I jump from sweet n low, to splenda, to equal maybe I'll escape their side effects. Problem is, I saw that damn movie where Jamie Gertz plays Gilda Radner - It's Always Something...and I read bits of her book about battling cancer. Haunted by Rosanna Rosannadanna, I decide to find a healthy sugar substitute...
Last night I watched a few documentaries on the politics of sugar, the human oppression of sugar, the history of sugar...Oil and Sugar are world powers! Sugar lobbyists are just as sleazy as Tobacco lobbyists and they both sell an addictive product. American made sugar sold in America is 3 times as expensive than the sugar sold round the world which means we're paying exorbitant rates for a drug that is in everything we consume making us crave that product in excess. The government subsidises farmers in the Everglades for a luxury commodity with no nutritional value while people in our own country starve at the poverty level, the only affordable food containing gross quantities of High Fructose Corn Syrup! Not to mention the modern day slavery going on in Haiti and other sugar cane countries. That's when my head exploded...
So what can I eat? how can I eat ethically? And for the love of God...what do I sweeten my tea with in the morning?!
I love Mike Schurr of Nutritive Harmony, a great health blog I'm starting to consult. He recommends Agave. While other sources sing of Stevia, brown rice syrup, vegetable glycerin, Mike even suggested crushing blueberries in my tea for natural sweetness...
They got Agave at work so I used it in my tea with soy milk and it was delicious! As far as the others go, every sweetener has a place...some for baking some for drinks...so I'll be taking it one step at a time. Good news is, the Agave I'm consuming was grown in a responsible privately owned non-subsidized farm. My conscience and my liver is clean.
love
nati
When I was 16, I was told by my mother, by my voice teacher, my dance teacher, by my friends that I would be really pretty if I just lost weight. I got so caught up in what I could be that I never took the time to be at peace with what I was. Which looking back on it, was really quite lovely. I wasn't fat, I was tall, I was mature looking, I was beautiful with a flat stomach, that pretty muscle in my calf I got from dancing 5 days a week. But I didn't have anyone to tell me that.
So, Monica Grenfell, is Chloe Marshall really promoting obesity by having the audacity to compete in a beauty pageant at a size 16? Is she hurting our children by telling them it's ok to act now, to grow where you're planted, to do what you can to build confidences and really achieve the impossible...to then take those tools and with courageous tenacity manifest your deepest dreams? If she were around when I was a kid, I would never have wasted time not believing in myself. As it is, I was raised by people like you to believe I was the sum of my measurements and life boiled down to counting calories. And I still won the title of California Miss and Miss Silicon Valley...but that's another blog.
Even now, with +plushus, I have to keep people at bay that aren't THRILLED with me just as I am. Anyone who tells me that I'll be successful when I lose weight has no place here.
And by the way, I looked at the contestents of the Miss England Pageant...and they're no match for Chloe. She's poised, eloquent, wise for her age and completely at ease in her body. Jezebel, one of my favorite blogs, has a clip of her being interviewed by Tyra Banks...rank interview...god bless Tyra for caring about our big fat asses...but I'd rather hang out with Ellen or Jimmy Kimmel. Chloe seems to handle all of this with grace...even the disgusted judgmental small-minded headline whores who trash real women from a place of total insecurity. I mean, they've built they're whole life around being thin...it must be hard for them to lose status so quickly.
love
nati
Word on the street is, Keira Knitely refused any retouching of the ta-ta's in her new movie, The Duchess, after much negative publicity over the augmentation in the above poster for King Aurthur. I wonder what changed her mind, she's always taken a nonchalant stance on the subject of body image saying she digs her form and doesn't care what the fuck they do to her in print. No one fully realizes their impact on the people around them. I'm glad she is taking some responsibility and steering her influence on impressionable young girls toward the real and candid. Unrealistic body image is everyone's problem. It tells men they're not men unless they attain the standard, it tells women to binge and purge and kill themselves to be the standard, and it tell us all there is something wrong with people who don't measure up.
Keira claims magazine publishers in the US ban stars from appearing on their front covers unless they have at least a C-cup size, or are willing to be digitally enhanced to make it appear as if they have. Statistics show people don't read magazines that showcase less than a C cup on the cover. Ads like this, that kept Keira's breasts natural in Europe, augmented them for the US campaign.
stop buying into the fantasy...it seems so pretty like the ghosts at the end of Raiders of the Lost Arch...but in the end, they melt your face off...
love
nati
This is my old roommate, Caryna, a model slash photographer slash yoga instructor slash poet slash philosopher who wrote some amazing lyrics in the form of a poem/letter to a lover that I put to music. I'd like to think she and I have nothing in common especially when it comes to love since she's so damn hot my eyes bleed when I look at her...you see...my whole reality is based on the notion that if I lost weight I'd be adored by all therefor successful and happy and bereft of any awkward love issues. I'd be the queen of hearts! Unfortunately, the poem she wrote was ripped from my very soul and splattered on piece of paper with her name on it! WAIT! You stole my pain! You can't have it!!! It's MINE!!!
I'm afraid I have to admit we're all people and being super duper fine does not cure you of the every day bullshit so listen to our song, stop hating your body, stop drooling over hot people like they matter just cuz their hot, and join +plushus in the real world.
love
nati
Dan Shahin, a guy I went to Hoover Middle School with in San Jose California, bought the neighborhood comic store that he worked at as a kid (great story). I was reading his blog and found this amazing contraption...makes me wanna take up drinking as a hobby. I must have one for my very own...no party would be the same...everyone would be painfully sober but well entertained!
I believe 42 Below is a Vodka and that is tonic being added to the Vodka so there are NO calories in that drink.
thanks, Dan!
love
nati
I'm a firm believer in creative solutions to the battle of the bulge. I'm also a great admirer of Japanese ingenuity. Well, I found both in a New York Times article. Japan has taken a census approach to eliminating obesity and will be measuring the waist of every man and woman, holding companies fiscally responsible for employees, spouses and retirees who exceed the maximum accepted waist line. I won't bore you with my Op Ed on this, since I've already covered how weight nor measurements completely tell your health story, so let's just say "how cute" the western-loving Japanese are inheriting our pop music and now our phobias. Although, I'm am far less disturbed by this than a blogger who commented on the article with all the judgmental venom of a self loathing designer chasing Hollywood Conformist...as much a stereotype as the stereotypes she hurdles like daggers...her blog is worse for our health than a fad diet. Laced with shame and ridicule, the seeds of every fat girl's deeply rooted weight issues, this blog is worse than high fructose corn syrup. And yes...I read it as religiously as a Democrat watches Fox News.
I'm also dazzled by the adorable name the Japanese are giving their fatties...though I hardly see how this precious name will strike fear into the hearts of anyone...but just when I thought +plushus was the greatest epithet ever...they come up with "Metabo!" and slogans like "Goodbye, Metabo!" and "Don't be a Metabo!"
genius.
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nati
today i love technorati. i'm a part of something special. i'm a fat little blip on the radar of blog livin'. i'm a frontierswoman laying claim to my little piece of the world wide web. i shall build a virtual log cabin with a warm fire and a cow out back and a big giant wood table to eat and sew and make music on. come sit at my table...let's chat.
love
nati
You will hear me talk tons of trash about short fat chicks. This is only because in the world of entertainment if you are going to be fat at least be short. The desperate need to grasp on to anything typically feminine disgusts me. They finally had a posting in Back Stage SEEKING PLUS SIZE PERFORMERS! oh...it's for Hairspray and you have to be short...well, Foowee!, Nikky Blonsky...and Foowee!, Marissa Jaret Winokur. What if you're taller than most guys, bigger than most guys, more agressive than most guys, more intelligent and driven than most guys? What if I held hands with Zach Efron at an awards show and I towered over him? Would you not believe we were doing the nasty? And if I told you he and I had been having a secret affair for years behind everyone's back you'd think I were lying? But the short fattie affair they write into Hairspray you believe.
With that said, Beth Ditto will never ever ever make my Foowee list. She's all woman all powerful all the time!
The photo with LoveFoxxx was shot by James Looker. He's a bad ass photographer. I just added him on facebook.
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nati
Wsup yall ! djFritz here. a few weeks back +plushus performed at the legendary Sin Sin in NY. It's a cool lounge that has been a hot bed for shocasing new artists and dj's. It was so tight in there that +plushus had to perfom on a small stage or was it a milk crate lol. Check her out banging on the ceiling (Lionel Ritchie watch out). She tore it down and I hyped it up on the turntables. It was a fun night, big shout out to my homie dj Mikey Beatz for inviting us. Hope to see youse at the next one !
+plushus dancers Shante Gordon and Jamie Litt after a late night performance at bar 40c in the East Village, NY.
40C is a bar with a dance floor untouched by drunk NYU girls (which is my prerequisite when picking an East Village spot) I like the bad ass checking ID's with his mellow dog (second cousin to spud mckenzie) and the arch ways when you get inside, and the art...which, if you look close, is painted on the hot-girl back section of the village voice....but this gem is far enough into Alphabet City that most people haven't discovered it on their sweep up 1st Ave and down Ave A...well I suggest making your way to the Nuyorican then going over to 4th and C to a cute red bar on a Thursday Night cuz that's when Thirsty is happening...I predict it will become the next Flirt....mostly due to the fact that Naked Highway is the host of both parties...but I think 40C could be the next Rififi....back when Rififi was Rififi...I can only suggest...the rest is up to you....you might see me there.
oh and i took hot pics in the bathroom with Stephen Schulman of SasiPR...
Oh and here is our performance.
love
nati
There is nothing worse than the patronizing vibraphone of "kids music"...There is nothing better than They Might Be Giants' Family Friday Podcast and DVDs! I'm a babysitter, I'm an artist that sits for kids and exposes them to art and music and language and it drives me crazy to listen to a "kids version" of U2 or some dumbed down version of a really good beatles song. Just play the Beatles. They Might Be Geniuses for elevating children with songs like C is for Conifer, 9 bowls of soup arranged to send signals to aliens, Triops Has Three Eyes and little funny side notes that are really meant for us adults but don't get it twisted, the kids pick up on it...the rythm of humor, the wonder of sarcasm, the dry humor of adorable crotched puppets with great hair (and black rimmed glasses!) You can find them on Youtube...but I strongly urge you to subscribe to the iTunes podcasts and purchase the DVD's even if you don't have kids.
It is 4:33am and I can't sleep because it's a million degrees with a trillion percent humidity and I for some reason did not buy an air conditioner this week despite the very clear reports that it would be Hades on Earth this weekend. Of course I decide to ask a guy out on this very wet very unglamorous night. We go somewhere social, my girl Brixx joins us (who hasn't broken a sweat since she was forced from her mother's womb and even then I believe it was afterbirth and not really sweat). 
I take pictures which didn't come out because my camera is being a teenage rebel (rather than the Canon Rebel I was lead to believe I purchased) and refused to focus. So excuse the over processed amateur post production. I was busy thinking "How do I stay fresh and charming when I feel like a Hawaiian Hog rotating over a pit of fire?" and "Why do I feel like drunk girl at prom wondering if her date has a key to a hotel room or wishes he could leave with homecoming queen?" Well maybe if the homecoming queen were a pixie bookworm. Don't cry for me, as usual I fared fairly well and spent a wonderfully moist and completely platonic evening with a fabulous friend slash total gentleman (no really...a gentleman...southern...he had a handkerchief that he used to blot my dripping forehead).
I met some really nice people like Leo from Pereida who is allergic to shellfish and made the best mojitos and ceviche of my life. (Don't ask about my Colombian Karma, I've only met two in the past two weeks, a third will call for a more in depth analysis.) 
This recipe is wrong because I was drunk and distracted and totally catiwompus.
3lbs Shrimp
4 limes
3/4 a bunch of cilantro
catchup to taste
sea salt/pepper
water for soupiness
Leo also has a pretty poodle named Pita. She and August fell in love which is dangerous since neither one is fixed...but I assured him August has only one ball 
I ended the evening at an air conditioned bar with my not-date where I drank too much, photographed Roxette our bartender then did my usual graphiti photoshoot in the loo and called it a night.
The sun is coming out...I've taken two cold showers with August, have a raging headache, can't quench my thirst despite being so full of water I gurgle when I move, and have to be in the studio in 5 hours. Once again I have absolutely no romantical prospects which is totally fine and has no bearing on my value as a human being or amateur blogger.
love
nati
I did a search on facebook for Lewis Thomas "Lives of a Cell" and instead of a fan page for Lewis Thomas I found a few people who put the book on their list of favorites...Darlene Charneco was at the top of the list and so I explored her page in the hopes of getting some other book suggestions. Not a lot of girls like to read essays about life from the vantage point of a scientist. This is what I found. If you've ever gotten a little romantic over the view of cities and mountains and terrain from a plane, play sim city, like pop art or think models and dioramas are lovely...you'll want to hang this on your walls.
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nati
Marie Picasso is the fourth winner of the Swedish Pop Idol. And she's plus size. I like her style, although i feel her stage presence is a little all over the place and could use major polishing, but she's drop dead gorgeous and has a raspy sexy voice that makes you wanna punch a wall (although most of her over produced pop songs don't showcase this benetar chaneling.)
My dream is to get Miss Plantum, Marie Picasso, and +plushus on a world tour! BAM!
dig it?
love
nati
I owned the Strawberry Shortcake in Big Apple City record and had memorized every word, song and sound effect by the time I saw it on television at my grandmother's house. I learned "fragmentation" and "indubitably" from Apricot and Hops A Lot, and at 6 years old, I told my mother I wanted a dog and I wanted to live in Spinach-Es Village. (Even at 6 I knew Spinach-Es Village was cooler than Times Pear.)
I'd like to think Park Slope is the new Greenich Village, and that I on some level fulfilled my childhood dream. If not, when +pluhsus goes platinum, I'll buy a place close enough to Magnolia's to ride my bike but far enough not to get in trouble at 2am every night. At least I finally got a dog. My inner child should be half satisfied.
My favorite part is when Strawberry shortcake is flying to Big Apple City on a butterfly. Now, I love how some of the music and sound effects used a then very experimental polymoog electronic funness, and Purple Pieman's evil theme song is very glam rock a la Queen, but how cool is the hippie folk rock of 70's animation (dipping into the early 80's)? Like America in the Last Unicorn (Jeff Bridges singing That's all I have to Say is my earliest memory of romance...might be the reason I'm so hooked on The Big Lebowski and Starman.) I'd also like to note that the trees in Sentimental Park are the same trees from Pepper Land...good Yellow Submarine reference.
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nati
I just worked my way through the new Duffy album...and by work, I mean it was work. I love her voice but I couldn't get through the music...thank god for Mercy. So I put on Adele's Chasing Pavements and my ears stopped bleeding. OH! I also love Sharon Jones and the DAP Kings.
Must the blond girls get all the attention while hotness like Sharon Jones is kept out of the VIP room? In a +plushus world, Sharon and Adele get all the hype...and blond girls are a dime a dozen...
love
nati
I've always been a big fan of Beat Bullying. So I was super duper happy to hear Beth Ditto of Gossip doing a blurb for their site! I think +plushus shares a similar mission statement...Shaping Attitudes, Changing Behaviors. Judging people is toxic and needing to feel superior is a weakness. This is why I'm not a big fan of a lot of New York nightlife. It feels like a parade, forcing people to spend more money than they have, accumulate friends with impressive jobs, accumulate things that make you feel important, accumulate lovers and shoes...most of all, it can make you feel like you can't leave your house unless you're "put together" and that your value lies in how eye candy you'd be on the arm of some foodie snob. I have a damn good time in New York, I just prefer a house party over standing in line at Lotus.
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nati
I prefer Miss Platnum's other videos "Mercedes Benz" and "Marry Me" but since this blog is about all thing +plushus, I had to post the plus size German Romanian Hip Hop Diva's music video for "Give Me the Food". The Lyrics being "give me the food if you love me." Opa! I'm NOT a fan of overeating and I have an inside joke with my friends "Food is Love" only we're being glib. So even though I'm a HUGE fan of Miss Platnum it's because of her thick Romanian accent and oom-pa hip hop beats (and sexy collaborations with Peter Fox of Seeed) and NOT because of this "fat acceptance" video. Though, let us not deny the catchiness that is a Miss Platnum hook...damn her catchy choruses and horn sections!!!!
love
nati
+plushus did a smashing rendition of "Real" at Naked Highway's Flirt party in the East Village...it was intimate, just enough hipster, dash of new wave...and of course the DJ played Gossip after we left the stage! God Bless Ditto.
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nati
August is my 6 month old fluffy gay white malti-poo. He's the cutest beast in the BK; and, my vet just informed me, the proud owner of one testicle. (No wonder he's so agreeable). Actually it's called "undesended testis"...he has two scrotum just one is in his abdomen...I pray it drops in time to snip snip his manhood. I don't plan on breeding him, but it's a matter of principle...a boy deserves to experience both ball-sacs blowing in the breeze.
My mother rang my doorbell at 8am on Monday, she flew in from California with her best friend, Nanette to surprise me. SURPRISE!! We spent a lovely day in Dumbo eating Mexican food outside at Pedro's...the service sucks but it's the best Mexican I've had on the east coast...which isn't saying much since the Mexican food in New York sucks bad. If anyone knows different, tell nati and she'll give you a besito.
Thursday I will take Alex to the Telectroscope. It's like something out of City of Lost Children! I have a friend touring in London right now and we're going to try to see each other across the looking glass. What a romantic technology. I love mechanical devices...inventions...gears and cranks and pulleys and levers...and tunnels under oceans.
Ah me...oh sigh...
love
nati
+plushus and Naked Highway are very good friends now!!! Last night +plushus performed officially for the first time at Rififi. When you've been in the studio as long as we have and your heart is really for the stage, you run the risk of wilting...a disconnect with the people...a performer loves to prepare but must present...I feel like myself again. My dancers, Jamie and Shante, were amazing! Both had been traveling for a few weeks and so I assumed I'd be doing this gig all by my self. I got an email from Jamie a few days before telling me she and Shante insist on dancing with me and they'll do what ever it takes to pull it together by Friday. I was impressed, it's hard to find people that take personal responsibility for a project.
Stephen from SASI PR booked the gig. I met him while I was in the Glamazons, and we've been friends ever since. His office is across the street from this amazing salon where Michael (the boyfriend of Ruby Valentine) does miracle hair...one of the best hairdressers in New York.
Fritz was there to video tape and support...and look super fly. Storm and Luis from Maria Dolores came too! Which was so special cuz we worked on a song for the +plushus album called Gordita (yeah you heard me!) and we have the best time in the studio...laughing the whole time, I don't know how we get anything done.
We made new friends, like Ernesto the tatoo-clad trucker-hat wearing fixed-gear-bike riding Colombian architect (who incidentally was wearing the same green American Apparel unisex deep V tshirt I almost wore that night! twins!) I invited myself to him and his girlfriend's house to play scrabble. Cuz I roll like that. (and no I do not peace sign in every photo, that's Fritz' job)
Other notables was Jamie's J-date, Brian. +plushus girls are so busy we gotta double book dates and performances...look if you wanna hang, you gotta meet me at this venue at midnight for a drink and a song!
Now you know...
Oh and of course i took pictures.
love
nati
+plushus will be at Rififi tonight at midnight...Naked Highway is spinning...the party is called Flirt...which I do quite well, thankyouverymuch...one song only, so even though it's highly unfashionable...be early.
love
nati
I love fireworks. I don't like pictures of fireworks. It's like trying to photograph a full moon (which hangs low and red tonight). Some things need to be experienced in person. I think online dating is like taking a picture of the moon. How do you fall in love with out pheremones to soake in, or the salty taste of sweat on the top lip of a sun kissed grey tshirt wearing boy? I took this picture from the bedroom window of the family I babysit for. Yes, I babysit to pay my bills. I love children and I have non of my own so, I give all my warm busomy swetness to other people's children. Although I'm not sure if I'm better in person when I spend my days covered in baby fluids. Maybe nati is not like fireworks and the moon...maybe she's better online...she's definitely better on stage.
love
nati
There are some truly painful experiences you rinse and repeat, for better or not for better. Like working retail at Macy's, or having a baby, or shopping at American Apparel. The design of the situation is genius. Take something you want so bad (money, a baby, enviable wardrobe) then after every swift kick to head earase all memory of the blood, tears and cursing. Replace blood with hope and the thought "maybe this time it will be different" and there you have a recipe for crazy. Sometimes you gotta be a little crazy to push a watermellon out your vajay-jay. Sometimes you gotta run away. Like when my drop dead gorgeous, queen of the cool-kids best friend Caryna was sporting American Apparel size XL and tightly...i should have run.
But +plushus is performing on Friday and we're scrambling for some wardrobe (until I have custom pieces made) and since they're on every corner we tried it out. Jamie is a size 14, Shante is a 16 and I'm a 20. I can't show you pictures of Jamie in the XL, but I can show you a video blog from Jezebel, where two average size 8 and 10 totally datable very fashionable blogger chix go the distance in the dressing room...fearless.
A caveat, in the words of dear Slut Machine: "We knew the clothes were gonna make us look like fat hookers, even though you know, I feel like I'm just an average-sized slut."
love
nati
Motor City was a total success!! Danny, (the dead sexy but not full of himself sweetheart of a bartender who looks like Pete Fox from Seeed) booked us for the next available date...July 15th (popular bar). It was a long night full of crepes, free drinks, friends passing through, and dancing...well, mostly me doing the twist to the 5.6.7.8's and Femme de Paris (Ces Bottes Sont Faites Pour Marcher...a French version of These Boots Are Made For Walking). Ellena provided the alt rock goodies and I played french punk, German Ska, and other non english obscurities. When I first got there, I wasn't sure my playlist would go over (how many times have I been scolded by some drunk jean jacket wearing redneck "You got somthun against America?")...but after a little Tito & Tarantula and Los Lobos I had major fans. Ellena played a White Stripes song and their sound guy was there which proved amusing as Ellena played a medley of Madison Square Garden inside jokes.
Highlights from Ellena's playlist: I Feel You - Depeche Mode
Tenament Teeth - Pela
Sex Machine - James Brown
Song for Aberdeen - Mando Diao
Get It On - Grinderman
Barracuda - Heart
I Love Rock n Roll - Joan Jett Daft Punk is Playing in My House - LCD Soundsystem
Sitting On The Dock of The Bay - Otis Redding
Highlights from my set:
Cosita Seria - Aterciopelados
Sr. Judas - Los De Abajo
Bomb the Twist - The 5.6.7.8's
Siempre Te Amare (Every Breath You Take) - Yuridia
Te Hacen Falta Vitaminas - Soda Stereo
Water Pumpee - Seeed ft. Anthony B
Marie Douceur, Marie Colere (Paint it Black) - Marie Laforet
Carachas Anjodas - Tito and Tarantulas
Oh and of course I took pictures.
love
nati
Ellena and I will be DJing on Tuesday May 20th at Motor City 10pm-4am. Of course if you know me, you know I'll be spinning the non english (Canto rock, Rockabilly Hispano, German reggae, Turkish hip hop). Can you call it "spinning" if you use iPods?
Motor City was my first Manhattan hang out back in 2000. I drove a 20ft moving truck from San Francisco to New York. When I got here, I had no cell phone and my sublet fell through so I'd tell people you can find me at Motor City on Friday's and NoMore on thursday's. It's nice to go back now that the city isn't quite so new.
love nati
I'm sure I'm the only one in new york that hasn't seen Murakami at the Brooklyn Museum...I work too much...but I think Brixx and I will take a walk over there tomorrow. Speaking of weekend rituals...I need to do some food shopping. I have recently been scolded for using fresh direct...frankly, I was on the move to using local products anyway. My house guest (German hip hop producer Brixx) is allergic to New York so I suggested locally grown food to acclimate her body. There's a farmers market on Saturdays at grand army plaza I can ride my bike to (yes, I'm getting the wicker European bike baskets for dog and groceries although, I also like the lacy plastic Carrie by Marie-Louise Gustafsson for Design House Stockholm and a few other designs)
Although not a huge anime fan, today I read on Tokyo Mango (which i love even more for the name since my plus line is called Mango Booty...so named after a miscommunication at dim sum in San Francisco with Sydney back in the 90's) there is a live action movie version of the anime Death Note May 20th and 21st if anyone wants to join me...
My body is feeling good and tight this morning thanks to Boot Camp Fitness NYC who gives one week free to anyone who wants to sweat hard. I go to the 6 or 8pm class almost every weekday. If anyone wants to join me...
love
nati
Tierny Lab recently posted a blog entitled Obesity Promotes Global Warming? commenting on The Lancet's recent article Trasport Policy is Food Policy where the explanation of the benefits of alternative transportation worked it's way around to fat people. If we fat people would just walk and bike more we'd reduce the global demand for oil and also the demand for, and thus the price of, food. I'm going with John Tierny on this and say "Do we really need to give fat people one more reason to feel guilty?" According to President Bush rising food prices can be blamed on the increasing middle class in India. So basically this global warming/food price issue rests on the shoulders of fat urban Americans and skinny middle class Indians? Good to know.
Frankly the whole issue is disorganized. All people should walk and bike more. All people should eat less. My skinny friends eat WAY more than I do. And my rich skinny friends eat out extravagantly. I mean how green is your average restaurant? And if you want to talk about consumption look at the bikers and runners who have to replenish extreme caloric purging. Trust this fattie when she tells you her carbon footprint is much more dainty than some medium weight average height foodie or olympic athlete.
The article also says that obese people consume 18% more energy (more fuel to transport the fattie, more calories to get fattie through the day). Yet people are throwing away 18% - 27% of purchased food...untouched...wasted. I have never been a fan of mass produced food. Growing up Italian, I would cringe at the waste. Why not ask your guests what they'd like to eat? If only 3 people are coming over why make 3 vegetarian, 3 meat, and 3 fish plates?
Although I applaud Tierny's heroic article and want to kiss him on the cheek, I do feel uncomfortable with him questioning whether exersice actually promotes long term weight loss. Plus it strayed from the topic. But...I will save that for another blog.
love nati
I had the opportunity to work with Rose Carrano, book publicist extraordinaire...who turned me on to this little nugget...If you're not a plus size woman, all the more reason to read about the heavy burden we bear and how the last socially accepted prejudice is based on lies. Reminiscent of the days when men of science said african american's will never be able to handle a real job, or women are just inferior leaders backed by countless studies and written about in respectable circulations...The Obesity Myth reveals what many would like to bury...connecting those Time and Newsweek cover stories about the "fat plague" sweeping our country with the FDA's deep dark almost mob like connection to the drug companies (Fen Phen is not fun fun). Is it any coincidence that the "studies show" even 7lbs overweight can put you at risk for diabetes when the average weight loss with Fen Phen is 7lbs? Any statistic can be twisted for anyone's benefit...facts are manipulated every day to get designer results.It's not about weight or looks...it's about health and peace...enjoy food, find friends who enjoy food, enjoy moving and find friend who will move with you...and buy the book if not just to show that people won't be hypnotized by fancy publications touting "the facts" (have i gone over the air quote limit?)
The choreography to Real is a nod to the early 90's. Oh the memories!!! If taping our sweaty nasty rehearsals proves one thing to you all...Not every fat girl is lazy!!! Perfecting just one tumber takes over 20 hours...we meet 3 days a week at 440 Studios Jaime, Carly, Shante, and Natalie all sweating it out on the dance floor. Oh and thats Sheryl, our punkrock asian choreographer in the pink!
There's nothing in the world like a rooftop in Brooklyn. PlusSize SuperModel Ivory May and Radio Promotor Elena Osis stop by to join nati for a photo shoot with Mike Heigl. And yes...if I could go back I'd zip that damn hoodie up a little more...I need someone with an eye to guide me...I can't do it all!!!
Get Skinny With Pink! 
