The Life & Style of Jessica Kane in LA

I know some of you think fat girls just sit around eating marshmallows and crying on a Friday night, so let me
paint you a picture of my weekend when plus media mogul, Jessica Kane (Skorch Magazine and
Life & Style of Jessica Kane), blows into town.

Friday Night: Dinner and Rockband at Tracy Broxterman’s (owner of Domino Dollhouse)








Saturday: Santa Monica Beach with Joy Nash (Fat Rant), and Nikole Purcell-Phillips (Torrid)





















Saturday Night: Drinks at Red Lion Tavern with Brandi Miller, Jamie Litt, and Joy Nash.














 Sunday Morning Brunch:  Bottomless cocktails with Ivory Bragg, Tiffany Kaelin Knight, Joy Nash.










All in all, your normal weekend with the girls…no big deal.
If you’re in the LA area, let me know, maybe you can meet us for bottomless bloody marys.








Fat’s Where It’s At In Mauritania

If I had a dollor for every boy that never loved me cuz I was too fat; for every Grammy I never won cuz fat girls don’t sell albums; for every time I blamed fat for why my life didn’t go the way I planned.   They should have called it “Mostly Likely To Succeed….As Long As You Don’t Get Fat”

But in Mauritania I’d be the prize pig.  The girls there attend Leblouh, a fattening ritual, to beef ’em up and get ’em ready for marriage.   You see, in Mauritania, a fat wife is a status symbol, touting the husband’s wealth and ability to feed her well (what? men using women as eye candy to puff up their ego?).  The fatter the hopeful bride, the more valuable she is…stretch marks are bonus.  The divorce rate is 40% (unrelated fun fact) and only ads to the allure, men will date women 3 or 4 times divorced.  Smaller girls envy bigger the girls so hard, they take fattening-up pills that have dangerous side effects.    Is this Bizzaro Hollywood or what?

I thought America had the market cornered on shaming girls into hurting their bodies and making themselves sick in the great competition for love (and by love I mean objectification and judgment). Fat or skinny, the fear of being yourself runs rampant no matter what body type your culture covets.

Side note: If you’re looking for piping hot current news, this is not the blog for you. lovenati isn’t about the latest breaking news, since this story was published by Marie Claire last year.  Rather, lovenati is about my journey, my revelations, my take on the not-so-new-news and how it’s relevant to my life in the form of diary-esque soliloquies …

Enjoy the ride.




The Incredible Shrinking Renn

I have nothing against Crystal Renn, she’s a seriously talented model, and I should probably get around to reading her book.   bla bla bla being fat is hard…bla bla bla eating disorders…bla bla bla…empowerment…bla.  I just wanted to say that I understand why she’s headed back to anorexia land.


I was a plus model back in the 90’s dating an athlete who took me to the gym every day and I lost a ton of weight.   When I started modeling for LOOK in San Francisco, the agent said to me “you could be a classic model and get a lot of work, why don’t you just lose another 50lbs?”   My boyfriend was mortified that I modeled swimwear and lingerie, but I knew that if I were a Victoria Secret model, he’d proudly let his friends fap all over my tear sheets.  And then there was my mother, who has been deeply disappointed in my “weight” problem since I was a kid.  Every part of my life was pushing me to get skinny even though I was already healthy.  I was running 2 miles a day.  I hadn’t gained one pound back in 6 years.  I had a flat stomach and I was fit and beautiful, but that wasn’t good enough for anyone in my life (if you wanna get buddhist about it, I wasn’t good enough for me and my own insecurities and body shame were just mirrored in the people around me).  Even my musical career was a bust, working with people who just seemed to be waiting around for me to get thin.


But how?  If I ran 4 miles a day?   if I cut out ALL fat?  if I really buckled down and starved the shit out of myself? I don’t think people understand the gravity of how hard it is to lose weight.  Just getting to a healthy size takes daily work outs, pushing yourself to the edge every time, cutting out half of what you eat.   My body was done losing weight, it adjusted to my routine, and in order to get thinner I’d have to do some serious trickery, and frankly I didn’t want to.  So, I can understand why Crystal Renn decided to get thinner…and thinner…



and thinner.




Plus Model Magazine isn’t Just About Models Anymore


All my life, no matter what size I was, I was always just one size bigger than what the world accepted. It’s like I drew the shit end of the “curvy revolution” stick.   When I was a size 14 running 2 miles a day and modeling lingerie, stores only went up to a size 12 and I didn’t know any other plus size women.  I felt “fat”.  Now years later, the industry has grown and the sizes run bigger and the models are bigger, but at a 22, I’m still just outside of what’s accepted and even when I read Plus Model Magazine and see all the beautiful models…I still feel “fat”.   And by “fat” I mean not represented and not accepted.

So, when I got the call from Maddy asking if I’d be a part of Plus Model Magazine’s new project “I am Plus” featuring real plus size women…not models, but ROLEmodels…I realized something. I’m NOT a model, even when I was a model, I wasn’t…and that’s ok.  It was a blessing being “too big”, cuz I had to be the biggest to realize that I am not “fat”…I am “plus”.  And by “plus” I mean a trail blazer.



Fat Chick in a Bikini? Winning!

looks like even vacuum cleaners are getting in on our fat-tastic-ness.
Kudos to LG. I hope your sales sky rocket and you pay more fat chicks
to push your product.


Dumpster Diving Exposes Food Waste

Dive! Trailer from Compeller Pictures on Vimeo.

I’m watching the documentary, Dive! About a group of super hot guys married to super hot girls with super hot kids all living off food reclaimed from the dumpsters of grocery stores like Trader Joes and Wholefoods. Did you know we waste 1/2 of all the food we produce in america??? I’m always talking about how we can better feed Americans, and when I go to the farmers market I vow to educate myself on how to preserve and use my food better, to know when it’s really expired and not toss good food out of fear. They don’t really teach that in school. My friend, Sarah, makes banana bread with brown bananas…I’ve started freezing bananas and blending them into a non-dairy sugar-free ice cream.

I’m really interested in this topic…not just about reducing and redirecting food waste, but learning how to creatively use food. Have you noticed we don’t teach our kids proper home ec? Maybe because it’s more profitable to raise up ignorant consumers who only know how how to buy pre-made food wrapped in plastic. Thank goodness for the growing trend in local sustainable food. Even the bougie foodies are getting on board. My favorite is Chicks With Knives, a very prestigious traveling supper club lead by two women who teach classes and cook food found in friend’s backyards. (a little tid bit…my band is in talks with them to do a night of food and music hosted entirely by women.)

I’ve been looking for more tangible causes to volunteer for that would directly impact the health of Americans. As members of the plus industry, it’s important that we face our relationship with food and do something positive to help balance the health crisis in our country. I think this documentary should be required watching, let me know what you get inspired to do!


Japanese sorutions to no more fat!

Oh my god, I love Japan for holding companies responsible for keeping employees healthy…pumping exercise music through the offices twice a day, holding official company weigh-ins, serving actual healthy food for lunch. Those Japanese always come up with creative solutions albeit, sometimes extreme and ridiculous.

Key word “solutions”

I would LOVE it if the United States radically supported it’s citizens in getting healthy, but that would mean doing what’s good for the people, making healthy food accessible and affordable and fast food too expensive to binge on. It would take zoning laws that delay McDonald’s, Popeyes and other fat creating entities from moving-in and preying on poor neighborhoods. It would mean taking government subsidies away from non nutritional crops like sugar and giving financial support to healthy companies; encouraging a franchise of fresh living foods across the nation!!!

I just got back from Ohio where it is damn near impossible to eat well, by the end of the week, I was tired, run down and just plain sick. I’m lucky that even though I’m broke, I manage to live in areas with wholefoods and trader joes and farmers markets. Even with all these resources, it’s still a challenge to stay healthy. How do we expect to cultivate a nation of healthy people if only a small percentage of us even have access to good food? i don’t know…just throwing it out there…

touche, Japan…Keep on solutionizing…


fat girl bloggers drawn together

Rachele, a chubby tattoo’d blogger from Portland Oregon, ninja’d up some boner drawings of her favorite lady bloggers. Fat Shopaholic, The Dainty Squid, lovenati, Fat Aus, Definatalie, and Bonjour Gazel. Thanks, Nearsighted Owl, for including me in such an impressive list of gals!


being fat is like this – A Christmas Story

It’s tradition to watch a Christmas Story on Christmas. My favorite scene is when Andy gets bundled up
for school. I chuckle more than most people. I nod my head. This is how it feels to be fat.


I laugh so hard I cry. Then wipe the tears from my eyes and no one is the wiser. If you’re fat, do you have
movie moments that remind you of what it’s like to be fat? If you’re not fat…welcome to my world.


it’s a Bieber Christmas!!!

yes, I did it. for you. my fan. a bieber cover of mistletoe.
commence your joyful weeping. and send nati your love.