I’ve never been a fan of reality TV singing competitions. They’re so grossly calculated and fake, only casting “types” they know will pull the audience in and up their ratings. I prefer scrappy tales of the under dog triumphant. Like Susan Boyle and now Casey Withoos. GO CASEY!!! of course I give a lot of credit to Regina Spektor for writing a song that tugs at the heart strings…also Domino Dollhouse for dressing her up.

I’m not ignoring the fact that fat is a hot topic and that the pulling the fat card is also a calculated move by producers these days…but I’m still touched.

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nati

Lets talk business, about filling a gap in the market, about Domino Dolhouse dresses hanging neatly in the closets of fat betties with pink hair and cat eyeliner who used to shop at Torrid before Torrid went the way of Trendy Fashionista (god i hate the word fashionista).  I just love it when I hear tough chicks lamenting the days of early Torrid then in the same breath saying “thank GOD for Domino Dollhouse”.  

Sure,  Tracy Broxterman‘s timing is spot on, catering to the girls that madeTorrid and Hot Topic one of the fastest growing fashion retailers of the first decade of the new millenium, but it’s her sincerity that makes the line special.    Mixing vintage, pin up, a dash of goth and a dollop of chola, Domino Dollhouse is one of the few true fashion experiences for plus size betties, giving them a chance to wear a designer’s point of view rather than a homogenized shopping mall brand loyal only to what’s selling at the moment.  I hope all you plus-size designer hopefuls  out there take a cue from Domino Dollhouse and make what you love.  Not just what a trending report tells you to make.

“You got Fluvia in my Carmakoma….you got Carmakoma in my Fluvia!!!”
Like peanut butter and chocolate, there’s no wrong way to pair them up.

If you don’t already know, Carmakoma is a euro-modern basic-black plus-size clothing line for the punk rock at heart. I’ve been a fan for years, but have always been a little bit too big to buy from them (that and they’re price point is $100-200, but I’d gladly pay that for well constructed detail oriented forward thinking designs).
In all their wisdom, they use two models every season, one at a size 14 to show the low end sizing and an 18 to show the high end. I’ve been suggesting they use Fluvia Lacerda to model their line via twitter and facebook…looks like they finally got the hint. Check out this dope image video they made…looks like video killed the photograph star…is this the MTV revolution of the lookbook? The only thing missing from this is Fluvia breaking out into song. Yeah, I’m totally jealous. If I looked like her, I’d have a Grammy by now.

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nati

Friday Night: Dinner and Rockband at Tracy Broxterman’s (owner of Domino Dollhouse)

Saturday: Santa Monica Beach with Joy Nash (Fat Rant), and Nikole Purcell-Phillips (Torrid)

Saturday Night: Drinks at Red Lion Tavern with Brandi Miller, Jamie Litt, and Joy Nash.

 Sunday Morning Brunch:  Bottomless cocktails with Ivory Bragg, Tiffany Kaelin Knight, Joy Nash.

All in all, your normal weekend with the girls…no big deal.
If you’re in the LA area, let me know, maybe you can meet us for bottomless bloody marys.

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nati

If I had a dollor for every boy that never loved me cuz I was too fat; for every Grammy I never won cuz fat girls don’t sell albums; for every time I blamed fat for why my life didn’t go the way I planned.   They should have called it “Mostly Likely To Succeed….As Long As You Don’t Get Fat”

But in Mauritania I’d be the prize pig.  The girls there attend Leblouh, a fattening ritual, to beef ‘em up and get ‘em ready for marriage.   You see, in Mauritania, a fat wife is a status symbol, touting the husband’s wealth and ability to feed her well (what? men using women as eye candy to puff up their ego?).  The fatter the hopeful bride, the more valuable she is…stretch marks are bonus.  The divorce rate is 40% (unrelated fun fact) and only ads to the allure, men will date women 3 or 4 times divorced.  Smaller girls envy bigger the girls so hard, they take fattening-up pills that have dangerous side effects.    Is this Bizzaro Hollywood or what?

I thought America had the market cornered on shaming girls into hurting their bodies and making themselves sick in the great competition for love (and by love I mean objectification and judgment). Fat or skinny, the fear of being yourself runs rampant no matter what body type your culture covets.

Side note: If you’re looking for piping hot current news, this is not the blog for you. lovenati isn’t about the latest breaking news, since this story was published by Marie Claire last year.  Rather, lovenati is about my journey, my revelations, my take on the not-so-new-news and how it’s relevant to my life in the form of diary-esque soliloquies …

Enjoy the ride.

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nati

I have nothing against Crystal Renn, she’s a seriously talented model, and I should probably get around to reading her book.   bla bla bla being fat is hard…bla bla bla eating disorders…bla bla bla…empowerment…bla.  I just wanted to say that I understand why she’s headed back to anorexia land.

I was a plus model back in the 90′s dating an athlete who took me to the gym every day and I lost a ton of weight.   When I started modeling for LOOK in San Francisco, the agent said to me “you could be a classic model and get a lot of work, why don’t you just lose another 50lbs?”   My boyfriend was mortified that I modeled swimwear and lingerie, but I knew that if I were a Victoria Secret model, he’d proudly let his friends fap all over my tear sheets.  And then there was my mother, who has been deeply disappointed in my “weight” problem since I was a kid.  Every part of my life was pushing me to get skinny even though I was already healthy.  I was running 2 miles a day.  I hadn’t gained one pound back in 6 years.  I had a flat stomach and I was fit and beautiful, but that wasn’t good enough for anyone in my life (if you wanna get buddhist about it, I wasn’t good enough for me and my own insecurities and body shame were just mirrored in the people around me).  Even my musical career was a bust, working with people who just seemed to be waiting around for me to get thin.

But how?  If I ran 4 miles a day?   if I cut out ALL fat?  if I really buckled down and starved the shit out of myself? I don’t think people understand the gravity of how hard it is to lose weight.  Just getting to a healthy size takes daily work outs, pushing yourself to the edge every time, cutting out half of what you eat.   My body was done losing weight, it adjusted to my routine, and in order to get thinner I’d have to do some serious trickery, and frankly I didn’t want to.  So, I can understand why Crystal Renn decided to get thinner…and thinner…

and thinner.

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nati

All my life, no matter what size I was, I was always just one size bigger than what the world accepted. It’s like I drew the shit end of the “curvy revolution” stick.   When I was a size 14 running 2 miles a day and modeling lingerie, stores only went up to a size 12 and I didn’t know any other plus size women.  I felt “fat”.  Now years later, the industry has grown and the sizes run bigger and the models are bigger, but at a 22, I’m still just outside of what’s accepted and even when I read Plus Model Magazine and see all the beautiful models…I still feel “fat”.   And by “fat” I mean not represented and not accepted.

So, when I got the call from Maddy asking if I’d be a part of Plus Model Magazine’s new project “I am Plus” featuring real plus size women…not models, but ROLEmodels…I realized something. I’m NOT a model, even when I was a model, I wasn’t…and that’s ok.  It was a blessing being “too big”, cuz I had to be the biggest to realize that I am not “fat”…I am “plus”.  And by “plus” I mean a trail blazer.

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nati

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nati

Dive! Trailer from Compeller Pictures on Vimeo.

I’m watching the documentary, Dive! About a group of super hot guys married to super hot girls with super hot kids all living off food reclaimed from the dumpsters of grocery stores like Trader Joes and Wholefoods. Did you know we waste 1/2 of all the food we produce in america??? I’m always talking about how we can better feed Americans, and when I go to the farmers market I vow to educate myself on how to preserve and use my food better, to know when it’s really expired and not toss good food out of fear. They don’t really teach that in school. My friend, Sarah, makes banana bread with brown bananas…I’ve started freezing bananas and blending them into a non-dairy sugar-free ice cream.

I’m really interested in this topic…not just about reducing and redirecting food waste, but learning how to creatively use food. Have you noticed we don’t teach our kids proper home ec? Maybe because it’s more profitable to raise up ignorant consumers who only know how how to buy pre-made food wrapped in plastic. Thank goodness for the growing trend in local sustainable food. Even the bougie foodies are getting on board. My favorite is Chicks With Knives, a very prestigious traveling supper club lead by two women who teach classes and cook food found in friend’s backyards. (a little tid bit…my band is in talks with them to do a night of food and music hosted entirely by women.)

I’ve been looking for more tangible causes to volunteer for that would directly impact the health of Americans. As members of the plus industry, it’s important that we face our relationship with food and do something positive to help balance the health crisis in our country. I think this documentary should be required watching, let me know what you get inspired to do!

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nati

Oh my god, I love Japan for holding companies responsible for keeping employees healthy…pumping exercise music through the offices twice a day, holding official company weigh-ins, serving actual healthy food for lunch. Those Japanese always come up with creative solutions albeit, sometimes extreme and ridiculous.

Key word “solutions”

I would LOVE it if the United States radically supported it’s citizens in getting healthy, but that would mean doing what’s good for the people, making healthy food accessible and affordable and fast food too expensive to binge on. It would take zoning laws that delay McDonald’s, Popeyes and other fat creating entities from moving-in and preying on poor neighborhoods. It would mean taking government subsidies away from non nutritional crops like sugar and giving financial support to healthy companies; encouraging a franchise of fresh living foods across the nation!!!

I just got back from Ohio where it is damn near impossible to eat well, by the end of the week, I was tired, run down and just plain sick. I’m lucky that even though I’m broke, I manage to live in areas with wholefoods and trader joes and farmers markets. Even with all these resources, it’s still a challenge to stay healthy. How do we expect to cultivate a nation of healthy people if only a small percentage of us even have access to good food? i don’t know…just throwing it out there…

touche, Japan…Keep on solutionizing…

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nati